Abuse relationships have the capability to inflict tremendous physical and psychological distress on the individual in the relationship. This goes beyond something that simply going to marriage counseling would fix. In addition to emotional and literal scars that are caused by abusive relationships, an individual’s self esteem can be completely demolished. Many individuals in an abusive relationship have been consistently told and shown they are not of value, nor of worth. After constant reminders, both men and women who are victims of abusive relationships begin to think these derogatory remarks are true. Instead of the inner feeling of self worth and confidence, these individuals have little or no self esteem left after the destructive effects of an abusive relationship.
If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you should immediately remove yourself from the situation. Quite often, this is easier said than done as abusive relationships are initiated and maintained under the pretense of love and affection. If an individual has your well being in mind and truly cares about you, he or she will not verbally or physically abuse you. Even though this abusive individual apologizes or begs your forgiveness, abuse is cyclic and this behavior is part of its final cycle. Usually, individuals in abusive relationships say their partner is loving and supportive, then violent and abusive, then apologetic and loving. This cycle continues until either party decides enough is enough and ends the cycle.
Individuals in abusive relationships often find themselves trapped and feel their options are extremely limited or nonexistent. If you are in an abusive relationship and feel there is no way out, reevaluate your situation. Turn to friends or family members who will support you in your decision to break ties and end the relationship. Individuals who are truly your loved ones will want whatever is best for you and support you in any decisions you may make. If you have no one to turn to, seek help from shelters or different organizations that are in existence to help people in your specific situation. With the help of these individuals, you can begin rebuilding your life and renewing your self esteem.
Once you have made the decision to break free from your abusive relationship, begin the process of rebuilding your life. This rebuilding process may take some time, so be prepared to invest a great deal of time and effort into rebuilding your life. You may need to make serious choices regarding your future, including changing locations to another city and changing your choice of career. Leaving an abusive relationship will most likely mean moving into a new home. You may need temporary housing, so consider staying with friends or family members or staying at a shelter that specializes in abusive relationships. This is an incredibly difficult decision, but the best boost to your self esteem will come after you have made the decision and begin to piece your life back together.
After you have begun the rebuilding process, you may need to seek professional help regarding your mental or physical state. Speaking with a psychologist or counselor may be the initiation necessary to continue rebuilding your self esteem. Seek out a professional that will assist you in that specific area using a variety of different exercises and techniques. Furthermore, you may wish to join a support group so that you can speak with other individuals who have suffered similar abuse. If you do not have access to a support group or feel attending a support group is not for you at his point in time, consider accessing the World Wide Web and finding a chat room that will serve as support. Once you start on your road to recovery, stay strong and remember you are an individual of worth and value. This will continue to build your self esteem and rebuild your life. Good luck!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Self Determination
The best rules for any type of relationship whether you are dealing with kids, mates, friends, or relatives are posted below:
Never expect more from you than you can manage: Expecting more than you can manage makes you an over determined person. You need balance to stay strong.
Do never expect more of your partner or child than you would expect of you: Follow this golden rule will help you develop in a relationship and keep the relationship growing strong.
Accept realization: each of you is adapting to the new changes – work on developing self-actualization to ensure that you can adapt to changes as you progress in self-determination and self-development.
Take advantage of time you can share with your mate and baby – do not forget to spend time with you as well. Spending time with you allows you to assess your inner strengths and weaknesses in order to move through the processes of self-development.
Express your emotions and feelings maturely – expressing your emotions enable you to clear up doubts, confusion, hate, or other negative thoughts that form in the mind. You can work through maturity by adapting to this rule.
Talk with your mate and let him express his feelings also about the new baby, breastfeeding, experiences, sex interests, body changes, and what the two of you feel about being new parents – discussions are healthy. Make sure that you learn and get in the habit of discussion your interests, while listening to the interest of others as well.
Learn to solve problems as a family unit – this will ensure that you have room to grow. When you have a happy family unit, it gives you the room you need to take time out for you and move through the stages of self-determination and self-development.
Discuss changes and your dislikes and likes during your childhood – this is another part of maturity. This rule is a healthy rule that will bring you many benefits. Not only will you feel happy and content, you will also feel in control of your life – and you will stay determined to meet your goals.
Discuss your parent’s upbringing and which mistakes you can learn from them to avoid making the mistake in your relationship and parenthood – it is always healthy to spill out your guts and discuss differences in points of views to create a healthy environment for everyone, including you.
Use nap time to converse and share activities with your mate – conversation is the main skill we have that helps us to build relationships, open our minds up for discoveries, learn something new and more. With good conversation you can exchange ideas, which will help you learn. You make room for discussions, which creates a healthy environment for everyone, including you. This is only part of building the self-determination you will need to live a healthy, productive life.
More tips:
Accept unorganized house care, since it occurs when you have a new baby – spend quality time and try to clean up together – do not spend your time or burn energy nagging or complaining over simple things. Instead keep your self-determination strong by overlooking the things that do not matter.
Work as a team – working, as a team is the only way that each member in your unit will keep the unit growing strong. Take some unity time to discuss self-growth and self-determination, as well as related topics so that all of you can grow together.
Put your priorities in focus as a team – create a list to help you work together – priorities are essential elements we need in life. Priorities keep us focused, determined, and prepared.
Maintain a sense of humor --- life is too difficult not to add a little humor into your life. Do mistake humor as watching a funny program on television; rather open your mind to all aspects before you open your mouth to speak. Think about the positive instead of the negative at all times.
Never expect more from you than you can manage: Expecting more than you can manage makes you an over determined person. You need balance to stay strong.
Do never expect more of your partner or child than you would expect of you: Follow this golden rule will help you develop in a relationship and keep the relationship growing strong.
Accept realization: each of you is adapting to the new changes – work on developing self-actualization to ensure that you can adapt to changes as you progress in self-determination and self-development.
Take advantage of time you can share with your mate and baby – do not forget to spend time with you as well. Spending time with you allows you to assess your inner strengths and weaknesses in order to move through the processes of self-development.
Express your emotions and feelings maturely – expressing your emotions enable you to clear up doubts, confusion, hate, or other negative thoughts that form in the mind. You can work through maturity by adapting to this rule.
Talk with your mate and let him express his feelings also about the new baby, breastfeeding, experiences, sex interests, body changes, and what the two of you feel about being new parents – discussions are healthy. Make sure that you learn and get in the habit of discussion your interests, while listening to the interest of others as well.
Learn to solve problems as a family unit – this will ensure that you have room to grow. When you have a happy family unit, it gives you the room you need to take time out for you and move through the stages of self-determination and self-development.
Discuss changes and your dislikes and likes during your childhood – this is another part of maturity. This rule is a healthy rule that will bring you many benefits. Not only will you feel happy and content, you will also feel in control of your life – and you will stay determined to meet your goals.
Discuss your parent’s upbringing and which mistakes you can learn from them to avoid making the mistake in your relationship and parenthood – it is always healthy to spill out your guts and discuss differences in points of views to create a healthy environment for everyone, including you.
Use nap time to converse and share activities with your mate – conversation is the main skill we have that helps us to build relationships, open our minds up for discoveries, learn something new and more. With good conversation you can exchange ideas, which will help you learn. You make room for discussions, which creates a healthy environment for everyone, including you. This is only part of building the self-determination you will need to live a healthy, productive life.
More tips:
Accept unorganized house care, since it occurs when you have a new baby – spend quality time and try to clean up together – do not spend your time or burn energy nagging or complaining over simple things. Instead keep your self-determination strong by overlooking the things that do not matter.
Work as a team – working, as a team is the only way that each member in your unit will keep the unit growing strong. Take some unity time to discuss self-growth and self-determination, as well as related topics so that all of you can grow together.
Put your priorities in focus as a team – create a list to help you work together – priorities are essential elements we need in life. Priorities keep us focused, determined, and prepared.
Maintain a sense of humor --- life is too difficult not to add a little humor into your life. Do mistake humor as watching a funny program on television; rather open your mind to all aspects before you open your mouth to speak. Think about the positive instead of the negative at all times.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Marriage Counseling - Save Your Relationship After Cheating
Cheating of one or both partners can strongly affect your martial relationship. This is one scenario where even marriage counseling just may not work. An extra-marital affair is a heart-breaking and embarrassing situation for both the partners and indicates the failure of companionship and married life. The most important base of any marriage is trust and faith which may get weakened due to the extra-marital affair.
It may give rise to the marital problems like conflicts and bitterness which when crosses the limits can result in separation. However, separation is a very painful and stressful situation for both the partners; you should try to save your relationships after cheating.
It may be very painful and hurting for you if you come to know that your partner is cheating you. But, don’t get frustrated or panic at such situations, remain calm and try to control the situation. Think about how you can handle this situation and find out the ways to save your relationships after cheating.
It is quite obvious that you get angry with your partner, but cool down and try to know why your partner is cheating you. In most cases, the reason of cheating is not that the partner who is cheating has no emotional feelings, but it may be due to his/her physical need. In such situation, you can grab the attention of your partner with your intense love.
Whatever may be the reason of cheating, ‘forgive and forget’ is an important key factor to save your relationships after cheating. When you realize that you have been cheated by your partner, talk to him/her about it openly and find out about his/her willing to save the marriage and try to understand your partner’s approach about it. Express your love for your partner and make him/her realize how much you need him/her. If you get the positive response from your partner, then forgive him/her and say ‘Let’s make a new start’.
If you are successful in developing a deep love for each other, then this problem can be easily solved. The important step you should take to save your relationships after cheating is to find out your drawbacks and mistakes. Take efforts to improve your personality and behavior and avoid doing the things by which your partner gets hurt.
Plan to spend the vacation with your partner and go for outings. Give time for each other, improve the communication between you, try to find out the differences between you and overcome them.
If you are your partner who is cheating, then you should equally contribute and take efforts to save the marriage. You should promise to end your affair and be loyal with your partner. Your body language is significant when you are saying ‘sorry’ to your partner.
If your partner is ready to forgive you and forget the bitterness, you should respond him/her in a positive way. You should also express deep love for your partner and make him/her know how much you need your partner and how incomplete you are without him/her. This will surely work and you will be able to reignite love in your partner’s mind.
When both of you take the efforts to save your relationships after cheating is not difficult, you will be successful to improve your relationships and live happily together. But remember, there is nothing wrong with marriage counseling!
It may give rise to the marital problems like conflicts and bitterness which when crosses the limits can result in separation. However, separation is a very painful and stressful situation for both the partners; you should try to save your relationships after cheating.
It may be very painful and hurting for you if you come to know that your partner is cheating you. But, don’t get frustrated or panic at such situations, remain calm and try to control the situation. Think about how you can handle this situation and find out the ways to save your relationships after cheating.
It is quite obvious that you get angry with your partner, but cool down and try to know why your partner is cheating you. In most cases, the reason of cheating is not that the partner who is cheating has no emotional feelings, but it may be due to his/her physical need. In such situation, you can grab the attention of your partner with your intense love.
Whatever may be the reason of cheating, ‘forgive and forget’ is an important key factor to save your relationships after cheating. When you realize that you have been cheated by your partner, talk to him/her about it openly and find out about his/her willing to save the marriage and try to understand your partner’s approach about it. Express your love for your partner and make him/her realize how much you need him/her. If you get the positive response from your partner, then forgive him/her and say ‘Let’s make a new start’.
If you are successful in developing a deep love for each other, then this problem can be easily solved. The important step you should take to save your relationships after cheating is to find out your drawbacks and mistakes. Take efforts to improve your personality and behavior and avoid doing the things by which your partner gets hurt.
Plan to spend the vacation with your partner and go for outings. Give time for each other, improve the communication between you, try to find out the differences between you and overcome them.
If you are your partner who is cheating, then you should equally contribute and take efforts to save the marriage. You should promise to end your affair and be loyal with your partner. Your body language is significant when you are saying ‘sorry’ to your partner.
If your partner is ready to forgive you and forget the bitterness, you should respond him/her in a positive way. You should also express deep love for your partner and make him/her know how much you need your partner and how incomplete you are without him/her. This will surely work and you will be able to reignite love in your partner’s mind.
When both of you take the efforts to save your relationships after cheating is not difficult, you will be successful to improve your relationships and live happily together. But remember, there is nothing wrong with marriage counseling!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Relationship Romance
The best thing about romance in a relationship is that it is shared. While one partner may initiate it, both end up enjoying any romantic effort. Romance is a relationship activity and cannot work if both partners aren’t participants. When you decide that romance is the way you want to go in order to improve your marriage or even work towards having an outstanding marriage, start planning your romance in advance with both you and your partner in mind. Even if you are giving a gift to your partner, keep in mind how it will affect you when you present it to him or her. Some gifts are actually meant for both of you although it is presented to only one partner (ex. Massage oil). Both of you must enjoy the romance in order for it to be effective in your relationship.
While being romantic often draws to mind gifts and planning outings together, you don’t have to spend money in order to be romantic! You can plan a day where you are completely at your spouse’s disposal. Devote yourself entirely to your spouse for an entire day. He or she can ask you to do chores, rub their feet, give them a massage, watch a movie you normally wouldn’t watch together or try an interest of his or hers that you haven’t tried. Your spouse may also decide that you are best put to use in the bedroom!
When you want to do something extra special, take your spouse on a local ‘honeymoon’ trip! Find a local hotel that has a honeymoon suite and book it for one night. Do it up right and make sure it is stocked with champagne, strawberries and whipped cream. Have flowers and your song available to play in your room. For her, have new lingerie laid out on the bed. For him, have new lingerie laid out on the bed. For an extra special twist, pack a bag for your spouse, hire a sitter if necessary and tell him or her that you’re going out for the evening. Blindfold your spouse and lead him or her to your honeymoon suite.
Find an affordable card shop or see if your local greeting card store offers any type of multiple card purchase discounts. Buy as many cards for your spouse as you can. Store the cards and send them to your spouse intermittently. You can choose to send them every few months, every month, every week, each day or every waking hour!
Take the time to create your own loving edible baked goods for your spouse! Make heart shaped cookies, a heart shaped cake or make your own heart shaped chocolates. Find a heart shaped bowl, pop popcorn to serve in the bowl and spend the entire day watching romantic movies together.
You can take any or all of these ideas and use them for special occasions or throughout the year. It doesn’t really matter when or how you do something romantic as long as you do it together.
While being romantic often draws to mind gifts and planning outings together, you don’t have to spend money in order to be romantic! You can plan a day where you are completely at your spouse’s disposal. Devote yourself entirely to your spouse for an entire day. He or she can ask you to do chores, rub their feet, give them a massage, watch a movie you normally wouldn’t watch together or try an interest of his or hers that you haven’t tried. Your spouse may also decide that you are best put to use in the bedroom!
When you want to do something extra special, take your spouse on a local ‘honeymoon’ trip! Find a local hotel that has a honeymoon suite and book it for one night. Do it up right and make sure it is stocked with champagne, strawberries and whipped cream. Have flowers and your song available to play in your room. For her, have new lingerie laid out on the bed. For him, have new lingerie laid out on the bed. For an extra special twist, pack a bag for your spouse, hire a sitter if necessary and tell him or her that you’re going out for the evening. Blindfold your spouse and lead him or her to your honeymoon suite.
Find an affordable card shop or see if your local greeting card store offers any type of multiple card purchase discounts. Buy as many cards for your spouse as you can. Store the cards and send them to your spouse intermittently. You can choose to send them every few months, every month, every week, each day or every waking hour!
Take the time to create your own loving edible baked goods for your spouse! Make heart shaped cookies, a heart shaped cake or make your own heart shaped chocolates. Find a heart shaped bowl, pop popcorn to serve in the bowl and spend the entire day watching romantic movies together.
You can take any or all of these ideas and use them for special occasions or throughout the year. It doesn’t really matter when or how you do something romantic as long as you do it together.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Rationalizations In A Relationship
So many relationships come in second, third or even worse to the many distractions in our daily lives. Unfortunately, these distractions are allowing too many marriages to end in divorce or a couple simply co-exists for years longing for happiness and fulfillment. It simply doesn’t have to be this way. To start, consider marriage counseling. But also, It’s time to take a look at what is really important and what will matter in the long run. Once your job or other commitments are gone, all you’ll have left is an empty marriage or an empty home to face every day. It’s time to stop making excuses and find the time to romance your spouse starting today.
Some women truly believe that some men aren’t genetically capable of being romantic. No matter how masculine a guy is, he is capable of romance! It is just another excuse for people to let their relationship slide. Romance leads to happy relationships while relationships without romance lead to loneliness or even worse. All men are and can show that they are romantic. So can all women.
When you envision romance, you probably think about a great deal of materialistic exchanging happening between you and your spouse. Romance isn’t about what is tangible or how much you spent. Romance is about the thought and intention behind every gesture you make. As long as the thought is behind your efforts, you will have romance. Improving your relationship with better companionship, sex and attention is very romantic alone!
If you’ve decided to be romantic, you have one chance to forget about your commitment. Just one chance and then that’s it. From then on it’s an excuse- a bad one at that- and you will do more damage to your relationship than you thought possible from neglecting your spouse. If you are constantly forgetting, you are displaying behavior that can only be interpreted as your spouse simply isn’t that important to you.
Procrastination is the archenemy of romance. While your career is and should be important, your spouse should be more important. Imagine sitting on your front porch in your golden years while looking back at everything you’ve accomplished as well as any regrets you might have. Do you really thing you’ll be wishing you had spent more time working?
For the belligerent spouses out there, its most likely crossed you mind that you don’t have to be romantic because you shouldn’t have to prove your love to your spouse. Being married and bringing romance into your relationship isn’t about proving anything. Romance with your spouse is about showing how much you appreciate and love him or her.
Don’t drag your heels when it comes to being romantic. Putting it off can become just as bad as never ever doing it at all and the habit is quite easy to fall into. Consider the fact that you don’t know how long you and your spouse will be lucky enough to have each other. Whether he or she will become deceased or they leave your procrastinating butt, you simply don’t have the time to put off making your marriage and incredibly loving and romantic partnership. So consider marriage counseling or at least some of these tips. Good luck!
Some women truly believe that some men aren’t genetically capable of being romantic. No matter how masculine a guy is, he is capable of romance! It is just another excuse for people to let their relationship slide. Romance leads to happy relationships while relationships without romance lead to loneliness or even worse. All men are and can show that they are romantic. So can all women.
When you envision romance, you probably think about a great deal of materialistic exchanging happening between you and your spouse. Romance isn’t about what is tangible or how much you spent. Romance is about the thought and intention behind every gesture you make. As long as the thought is behind your efforts, you will have romance. Improving your relationship with better companionship, sex and attention is very romantic alone!
If you’ve decided to be romantic, you have one chance to forget about your commitment. Just one chance and then that’s it. From then on it’s an excuse- a bad one at that- and you will do more damage to your relationship than you thought possible from neglecting your spouse. If you are constantly forgetting, you are displaying behavior that can only be interpreted as your spouse simply isn’t that important to you.
Procrastination is the archenemy of romance. While your career is and should be important, your spouse should be more important. Imagine sitting on your front porch in your golden years while looking back at everything you’ve accomplished as well as any regrets you might have. Do you really thing you’ll be wishing you had spent more time working?
For the belligerent spouses out there, its most likely crossed you mind that you don’t have to be romantic because you shouldn’t have to prove your love to your spouse. Being married and bringing romance into your relationship isn’t about proving anything. Romance with your spouse is about showing how much you appreciate and love him or her.
Don’t drag your heels when it comes to being romantic. Putting it off can become just as bad as never ever doing it at all and the habit is quite easy to fall into. Consider the fact that you don’t know how long you and your spouse will be lucky enough to have each other. Whether he or she will become deceased or they leave your procrastinating butt, you simply don’t have the time to put off making your marriage and incredibly loving and romantic partnership. So consider marriage counseling or at least some of these tips. Good luck!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Having Fun In Your Relationship
One of the best ways to be successful in any relationship is to have fun! Sometimes it might feel a little bit awkward, but once you remember how good it feels to act like a kid, sweet, silly and just plain carefree, you will find you prefer it to your adult life! Make sure you revisit and care for your ‘inner child’. This is the part of you that can unlock all of your creativity, spontaneity, feeling of wonder and happiness. Take this part of you and make it a part of your relationship. While there are always times when you have to be an adult, there are also times when it is absolutely fine to be wonderfully carefree and joyful!
It’s hard to find anyone who doesn’t enjoy an Oreo cookie. Take an Oreo (or generic version of one), scratch the top of the cookie until smooth and then scratch a heart and your initials into the smooth surface. You can also make your own cookies and create personal messages. Another version is to make your own cupcakes and frost them with special messages in red icing. You can also give your spouse a true treat and track down a box of his or her favorite Girl Scout cookie.
Candy bars are always a special treat and you can use them as creative ways to send your spouse special messages. Hershey’s Kisses are a favorite and many people already give them with their own special messages. You can also use other suggestive candy names like “Life Saver”, “Mounds”, “Fire Balls” and more. Instead of candy, you can fill the candy jar with love messages. On the other hand, you can fill the mailbox with candy.
Once you’ve satisfied your sweet tooth, take your spouse out to a large field, lie down and watch the clouds form different shapes. Not only are you out doing something fun together, but you are also far away from any distractions you might have at home. By the way if you didn’t turn off your cell phone, you didn’t have a truly romantic experience.
Did you know that over seventy five percent of women like stuffed animals and even more men enjoy electronic gadgets or power tools? These make perfectly fun gifts for both of you to be able to give to each other. An even better way to go about being a ‘kid’ with him or her is to find out what their favorite childhood item was and find it for them. It might mean a call to his or her parents or a visit to Ebay, but find it and let him or her know that every part of their life is important to you.
Comics are another wonderfully creative way to share your funny sense of humor and playful side with your spouse. Start combing the newspaper for funny comic strips and start to collect them. Tape them to the rearview mirror, the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator and even the back of the toilet seat. After you replace each comic strip, you can place the older ones in a scrapbook or photo album so that you enjoy them over and over again.
It’s hard to find anyone who doesn’t enjoy an Oreo cookie. Take an Oreo (or generic version of one), scratch the top of the cookie until smooth and then scratch a heart and your initials into the smooth surface. You can also make your own cookies and create personal messages. Another version is to make your own cupcakes and frost them with special messages in red icing. You can also give your spouse a true treat and track down a box of his or her favorite Girl Scout cookie.
Candy bars are always a special treat and you can use them as creative ways to send your spouse special messages. Hershey’s Kisses are a favorite and many people already give them with their own special messages. You can also use other suggestive candy names like “Life Saver”, “Mounds”, “Fire Balls” and more. Instead of candy, you can fill the candy jar with love messages. On the other hand, you can fill the mailbox with candy.
Once you’ve satisfied your sweet tooth, take your spouse out to a large field, lie down and watch the clouds form different shapes. Not only are you out doing something fun together, but you are also far away from any distractions you might have at home. By the way if you didn’t turn off your cell phone, you didn’t have a truly romantic experience.
Did you know that over seventy five percent of women like stuffed animals and even more men enjoy electronic gadgets or power tools? These make perfectly fun gifts for both of you to be able to give to each other. An even better way to go about being a ‘kid’ with him or her is to find out what their favorite childhood item was and find it for them. It might mean a call to his or her parents or a visit to Ebay, but find it and let him or her know that every part of their life is important to you.
Comics are another wonderfully creative way to share your funny sense of humor and playful side with your spouse. Start combing the newspaper for funny comic strips and start to collect them. Tape them to the rearview mirror, the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator and even the back of the toilet seat. After you replace each comic strip, you can place the older ones in a scrapbook or photo album so that you enjoy them over and over again.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Favorites In A Relationship
When it comes to your relationship with your spouse and attempting to improve your marriage, you will most likely begin learning more and more about each other. This is a great way to get ideas for romantic planning as well as gifts for your spouse. Begin having conversations about your likes and dislikes with each other. Not only will taking about these things bring you closer together, but they can also help you express your love in an effective manner and buy gifts that he or she is sure to enjoy. If you want to do this in another, yet obvious way, you can make a specific checklist for both of you to complete. It is likely to cause all kinds of laughter and jokes at each other’s expense, but this way you will have a concrete list on hand.
When you consider the number of likes and dislikes a person can have for just about everything in the world, it can seem a bit overwhelming. Start with simple things like his or her favorite color, lucky number(s), favorite music, favorite flower, favorite child’s book, favorite current author, favorite singer, favorite song, favorite poet and favorite poem. You can then move on to their favorite food, favorite fruit, favorite vegetable, favorite type of chocolate, favorite cookie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite snack food, favorite fast food and favorite restaurant.
Next, find out what your partner’s favorite movie is (you might want to make this a ‘top five’ question- most people can’t choose just one movie.) Then move on to find out who his or her favorite actress and actor are, their favorite romantic movie, comedy movie, musical, action movie and erotic movie. If you and or your spouse enjoy theater, now is the time to find out the specific of what they like about it. You can find out what their favorite play is, what their favorite show tune is and even who their favorite Broadway actor is.
Favorites can span all types of categories including sports and arts. Find out about their favorite artist, favorite style of artwork, favorite sculpture and favorite painting. Ask about his or her favorite sport to watch as well as their favorite sport to play. Take it further and find out about his or her favorite Olympic sport, favorite teams and even their favorite board game.
You can find out about more personal things like his or her favorite foreplay activity (both giving and receiving), their favorite position for making love, their favorite love making location, favorite sexy outfit (both his and hers), favorite place to be touched, favorite place to be kissed, favorite time of day to make love and their favorite fantasy. Find out their favorite place to shop for lingerie, their favorite color of lingerie and favorite style of lingerie.
Make note of what most might consider to be small things like your spouse’s favorite way to relax, his or her favorite television show, their favorite scent, favorite perfume or cologne, favorite beverage, favorite joke, favorite holiday, favorite day of the week and so much more. Take all of this information and treat it as the valuable resource that it is. Use it, update it and tweak it as often as necessary.
When you consider the number of likes and dislikes a person can have for just about everything in the world, it can seem a bit overwhelming. Start with simple things like his or her favorite color, lucky number(s), favorite music, favorite flower, favorite child’s book, favorite current author, favorite singer, favorite song, favorite poet and favorite poem. You can then move on to their favorite food, favorite fruit, favorite vegetable, favorite type of chocolate, favorite cookie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite snack food, favorite fast food and favorite restaurant.
Next, find out what your partner’s favorite movie is (you might want to make this a ‘top five’ question- most people can’t choose just one movie.) Then move on to find out who his or her favorite actress and actor are, their favorite romantic movie, comedy movie, musical, action movie and erotic movie. If you and or your spouse enjoy theater, now is the time to find out the specific of what they like about it. You can find out what their favorite play is, what their favorite show tune is and even who their favorite Broadway actor is.
Favorites can span all types of categories including sports and arts. Find out about their favorite artist, favorite style of artwork, favorite sculpture and favorite painting. Ask about his or her favorite sport to watch as well as their favorite sport to play. Take it further and find out about his or her favorite Olympic sport, favorite teams and even their favorite board game.
You can find out about more personal things like his or her favorite foreplay activity (both giving and receiving), their favorite position for making love, their favorite love making location, favorite sexy outfit (both his and hers), favorite place to be touched, favorite place to be kissed, favorite time of day to make love and their favorite fantasy. Find out their favorite place to shop for lingerie, their favorite color of lingerie and favorite style of lingerie.
Make note of what most might consider to be small things like your spouse’s favorite way to relax, his or her favorite television show, their favorite scent, favorite perfume or cologne, favorite beverage, favorite joke, favorite holiday, favorite day of the week and so much more. Take all of this information and treat it as the valuable resource that it is. Use it, update it and tweak it as often as necessary.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Is Marriage Counseling Needed? Evaluate Your Relationship
Everyone dreaded report card day in school and if you are dreading making your own relationship report card, then you need to buckle down and study! When you rank all of the aspects of your relationship between you and your spouse, you need to score in the high nineties to achieve an A+. Consider creating a ‘relationship report card’ with your spouse and watch the awakening you will both experience. When you try to complete your relationship report card, it should not turn into a ‘blame game’. It should open the lines of communication and offer some invaluable insight into your relationship as to where you need changes and improvements. That way, you will have an idea if you should seek marriage counseling.
When you consider how you want to grade your partner and yourself, it is a good idea to have some pre-set guidelines as to what each grade means. For example, an ‘A’ might mean that your partner isn’t perfect, but obviously excelling. It could also mean that your partner is loving, attentive, enthusiastic and satisfying. A ‘B’ could stand for a partner who is always trying, better than most and consistently works on improvement. A ‘C’ might mean average or acceptable. ‘C’s’ always indicate plenty of room for improvement. ‘D’s’ and ‘F’s’ should be reserved for unhappy situations or even hopeless ones. ‘D’s’ indicate never hopeless while ‘F’s’ require more than just a relationship evaluation. If you find that you and your spouse have areas with a ‘D’ or an ‘F’, you need to focus on why you are giving or receiving those grades and commit to some kind of action in order to change and improve that grade such as marriage counseling. It might involve a commitment on both spouses, but if both are willing to work at it the grade is already moving higher.
When you begin working on your relationship report card, it should be graded the same way your school papers were graded with a number grade (ex. 80%, 50%, 95% and so on). Grade both your partner and yourself in areas like affection, ability to resolve conflict, attitude, commitment, communication skills, consideration level, thinking as a ‘couple’, creativity, sensitivity, flexibility, generosity, friendship and gift giving skills. Once you’ve completed that list, continue to evaluate your honesty levels, listening skills, household management skills, patience, love making, romance abilities and practice, playfulness, self-esteem, self-awareness, sense of humor, empathy, tolerance and spontaneity. If you feel that there are any other areas relevant to your particular relationship, feel free to add and evaluate at your discretion.
When you and your spouse are grading each other, be sure to both participate in grading. You can work out your own particulars, but make sure you both have a say in both of your grades. Compare and talk about your grades and why your partner believes you deserve a particular grade (this includes the good grades, too!). You’ll be surprised at how your partner sees your relationship and you’ll have invaluable insight into how he or she sees your role in the relationship. Just because you may not have earned an A+ in one area doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate. Pat yourself (and your partner) on the back for anything over a ‘B’ and talk about ways you can improve on any ‘C’s’ and ‘D’s’ or consider marriage counseling.
Good luck!
When you consider how you want to grade your partner and yourself, it is a good idea to have some pre-set guidelines as to what each grade means. For example, an ‘A’ might mean that your partner isn’t perfect, but obviously excelling. It could also mean that your partner is loving, attentive, enthusiastic and satisfying. A ‘B’ could stand for a partner who is always trying, better than most and consistently works on improvement. A ‘C’ might mean average or acceptable. ‘C’s’ always indicate plenty of room for improvement. ‘D’s’ and ‘F’s’ should be reserved for unhappy situations or even hopeless ones. ‘D’s’ indicate never hopeless while ‘F’s’ require more than just a relationship evaluation. If you find that you and your spouse have areas with a ‘D’ or an ‘F’, you need to focus on why you are giving or receiving those grades and commit to some kind of action in order to change and improve that grade such as marriage counseling. It might involve a commitment on both spouses, but if both are willing to work at it the grade is already moving higher.
When you begin working on your relationship report card, it should be graded the same way your school papers were graded with a number grade (ex. 80%, 50%, 95% and so on). Grade both your partner and yourself in areas like affection, ability to resolve conflict, attitude, commitment, communication skills, consideration level, thinking as a ‘couple’, creativity, sensitivity, flexibility, generosity, friendship and gift giving skills. Once you’ve completed that list, continue to evaluate your honesty levels, listening skills, household management skills, patience, love making, romance abilities and practice, playfulness, self-esteem, self-awareness, sense of humor, empathy, tolerance and spontaneity. If you feel that there are any other areas relevant to your particular relationship, feel free to add and evaluate at your discretion.
When you and your spouse are grading each other, be sure to both participate in grading. You can work out your own particulars, but make sure you both have a say in both of your grades. Compare and talk about your grades and why your partner believes you deserve a particular grade (this includes the good grades, too!). You’ll be surprised at how your partner sees your relationship and you’ll have invaluable insight into how he or she sees your role in the relationship. Just because you may not have earned an A+ in one area doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate. Pat yourself (and your partner) on the back for anything over a ‘B’ and talk about ways you can improve on any ‘C’s’ and ‘D’s’ or consider marriage counseling.
Good luck!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Getting A Good Score On Your Relationship
You probably have a good idea of where you and your spouse are in your relationship or if you don’t, it’s time to find out. Consider thinking about your relationship, write down where you believe your relationship could use some improvement and talk to your spouse about what you have been thinking and feeling. Consider Marriage Counseling, it may help! Achieving an exceptional relationship is not easy, but it is an attainable goal. People who have wonderfully rewarding relationships are loving and giving people. This is a lifestyle that is available to every couple that is willing to work towards such a goal.
When you are looking to have an outstanding relationship with your spouse, you will benefit in more ways than you can imagine. You will be more able to understand you loving relationship in ways that you never thought possible and it helps you to act in ways that satisfy both you and your partner as well as nurture both of you as a couple. An exceptional relationship is one where you and your partner have the best intimate relationship possible, where you are both faithful, passionate, committed to growth, romantic and fascinating, you both consistently work at making your love grow and although not perfect, your relationship is one that you wouldn’t trade for anything else in the world.
So, how do you arrive at such an existence with your spouse? You must dedicate yourself to achieving excellence while you work hard, play hard and you both work on your relationship skills together. As simple as it sounds, you both have to live how you love each other each and every day. Great relationships don’t just happen. They arise as the result of work, work, and work! You need to be creative and work together at creating the relationship into one life you can both share together.
Your relationship with your spouse is very individual and only you both know what you want as far as a life together. You are in charge of making your rules and expectations for your individual relationship. This type of direction you can make for your marriage is a wonderful concept in the way people view relationships. You are able to make your relationship into exactly what you want it to be. You are in charge of your goals and in meeting your own standards.
You have the unique knowledge that allows you to create a relationship out of the values you treasure the most like honesty, faith, commitment, creativity, flexibility and equality. With this knowledge as well as the desire to create such a wonderfully romantic and loving desire, you can create a relationship that is not only fulfilling and rewarding but enviable as well.
When you can center your attention on the behaviors in your marriage and not on the personalities, you can focus you attention on setting goals instead of placing blame. This method helps you to set, reach and maintain your goals in order to have the marriage most couples only dream of. Remember, there is nothing wrong with marriage counseling!
When you are looking to have an outstanding relationship with your spouse, you will benefit in more ways than you can imagine. You will be more able to understand you loving relationship in ways that you never thought possible and it helps you to act in ways that satisfy both you and your partner as well as nurture both of you as a couple. An exceptional relationship is one where you and your partner have the best intimate relationship possible, where you are both faithful, passionate, committed to growth, romantic and fascinating, you both consistently work at making your love grow and although not perfect, your relationship is one that you wouldn’t trade for anything else in the world.
So, how do you arrive at such an existence with your spouse? You must dedicate yourself to achieving excellence while you work hard, play hard and you both work on your relationship skills together. As simple as it sounds, you both have to live how you love each other each and every day. Great relationships don’t just happen. They arise as the result of work, work, and work! You need to be creative and work together at creating the relationship into one life you can both share together.
Your relationship with your spouse is very individual and only you both know what you want as far as a life together. You are in charge of making your rules and expectations for your individual relationship. This type of direction you can make for your marriage is a wonderful concept in the way people view relationships. You are able to make your relationship into exactly what you want it to be. You are in charge of your goals and in meeting your own standards.
You have the unique knowledge that allows you to create a relationship out of the values you treasure the most like honesty, faith, commitment, creativity, flexibility and equality. With this knowledge as well as the desire to create such a wonderfully romantic and loving desire, you can create a relationship that is not only fulfilling and rewarding but enviable as well.
When you can center your attention on the behaviors in your marriage and not on the personalities, you can focus you attention on setting goals instead of placing blame. This method helps you to set, reach and maintain your goals in order to have the marriage most couples only dream of. Remember, there is nothing wrong with marriage counseling!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Gifts That Can Build A Relationship
Every marriage experiences spouses buying gifts for one another. Most of the time the gifts are for what are considered to be ‘mandatory’ gift giving days like birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and so on. Sometimes spouses use gifts as gestures to say that they are sorry or to earn forgiveness. These aren’t gifts at all- they are bribes and they don’t serve any purpose other than to be a Band Aid to wounds that require proper attention to heal.
The best gifts given in any relationship are gifts that have only one intention and that intention is to let your spouse know that you are thinking of them, appreciate them and love them. These gifts are given without ulterior motives or expectations. These gifts only work when they are chosen with a great deal of thought, care and without anticipating anything in return.
Begin by shopping all of the time. This doesn’t mean that you should just load up your shopping basket each time you head out. This doesn’t require much effort and you will most likely go broke doing this! Instead, each time you are in a store with or without your spouse, keep an eye out for items you think he or she would love to have or find touching. Pay attention when you are together either window shopping or looking for specific items. If he or she finds something that they have an interest in, either purchase it when they aren’t close by or come back later and buy it for them.
You can find all kinds of wonderful treasures in a variety of shops. Try browsing shops you don’t enter on a regular basis for ideas and many times, rare finds. Some of these types of shops include antique stores, new and used bookstores, second-hand shops, toy stores, video stores, sporting goods stores, nostalgia shops, natural health food stores, card shops and more.
When you go shopping, head out without any preconceived ideas. Use your intuition to shop for your partner. In other words, don’t find your gift- let your gift find you! If your spouse has a favorite store that he or she loves, get to know the manager and other employees. Stop in on a regular basis to see if he or she has been in and shown any interest in a particular item. Buy it!
Always be ready to buy something while you are out. Keep a ‘gift buying’ fund tucked safely in the back of your wallet so that you are never without funds. Try to pay cash, as your partner shouldn’t be able to find out what you spend through credit card receipts or statements. Because you will most likely be accumulating gifts faster than you are giving them, make sure you have a safe hiding spot in which you can store your gifts.
As with any romantic gesture, don’t overdo the gift giving. If he or she receives gifts all of the time, it isn’t special. Pace yourself, put thought into everything you do and always consider your spouse before taking any action.
The best gifts given in any relationship are gifts that have only one intention and that intention is to let your spouse know that you are thinking of them, appreciate them and love them. These gifts are given without ulterior motives or expectations. These gifts only work when they are chosen with a great deal of thought, care and without anticipating anything in return.
Begin by shopping all of the time. This doesn’t mean that you should just load up your shopping basket each time you head out. This doesn’t require much effort and you will most likely go broke doing this! Instead, each time you are in a store with or without your spouse, keep an eye out for items you think he or she would love to have or find touching. Pay attention when you are together either window shopping or looking for specific items. If he or she finds something that they have an interest in, either purchase it when they aren’t close by or come back later and buy it for them.
You can find all kinds of wonderful treasures in a variety of shops. Try browsing shops you don’t enter on a regular basis for ideas and many times, rare finds. Some of these types of shops include antique stores, new and used bookstores, second-hand shops, toy stores, video stores, sporting goods stores, nostalgia shops, natural health food stores, card shops and more.
When you go shopping, head out without any preconceived ideas. Use your intuition to shop for your partner. In other words, don’t find your gift- let your gift find you! If your spouse has a favorite store that he or she loves, get to know the manager and other employees. Stop in on a regular basis to see if he or she has been in and shown any interest in a particular item. Buy it!
Always be ready to buy something while you are out. Keep a ‘gift buying’ fund tucked safely in the back of your wallet so that you are never without funds. Try to pay cash, as your partner shouldn’t be able to find out what you spend through credit card receipts or statements. Because you will most likely be accumulating gifts faster than you are giving them, make sure you have a safe hiding spot in which you can store your gifts.
As with any romantic gesture, don’t overdo the gift giving. If he or she receives gifts all of the time, it isn’t special. Pace yourself, put thought into everything you do and always consider your spouse before taking any action.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Celebrate Your Relationship!
If you are spending time looking for ways in which you can improve your relationship, you obviously love and care for your partner and what you want to have together. Start your changes by celebrating your relationship! Celebrate the joy of having met that one very special person, find joy in the wonderful things that ‘click’ about you and your spouse and celebrate what you are committed to building together. You can celebrate any day at any time and you can also celebrate by surprising your spouse.
On your next birthday, celebrate your spouse and how he or she makes your existence better by presenting him or her with a gift. He or she will be so surprised that you might see a tear or two of joy fall.
Start paying attention to what he or she likes. Really listen to what your spouse says, pay attention to the items he or she says he would like to try someday and get it for them. Don’t give it to your spouse immediately and put the item away for a period of time. The period of time is up to you- it could be a week or it could be a month. When you think that he or she will no longer remember discussing the item with you, present it to them as a gift.
Take over a chore or daily task for your spouse without letting them know about your intentions. Mow the lawn, washing the car, cook and clean up from meals or clean the house- do something substantial for him or her. If you find that he or she loved having the break from a particular task, do it over and over again as often as you can.
One of the most recognizable symbols of a celebration is a balloon! Fill your car with balloons and take them home to him or her. Fill the living room before he or she gets home from work. Make sure you have some balloons marked with your names in hearts on them and some should have personal messages written as well. Begin the celebration of your love today.
Start celebrating each major and minor holiday with your spouse. Begin with New Year’s Eve and do it big. Go to New York City and go to Times Square if that’s as big as you can think! Valentine’s Day should be done as lavishly as possible. On the Fourth of July, plan to attend the most extravagant fireworks display you can find or plan on making fireworks of your own at home. Always celebrate each other’s birthdays and do it with flair. Your Anniversary should be a special day and celebrated with an expensive bottle of your favorite drink. Get dressed up on Halloween as your favorite fantasy characters and role-play for the entire evening. Celebrate any and every day you want by staying home from work and playing in bed. Celebrate as often of infrequently as you want to, but make sure you take the time to play, surprise each other and celebrate your relationship.
On your next birthday, celebrate your spouse and how he or she makes your existence better by presenting him or her with a gift. He or she will be so surprised that you might see a tear or two of joy fall.
Start paying attention to what he or she likes. Really listen to what your spouse says, pay attention to the items he or she says he would like to try someday and get it for them. Don’t give it to your spouse immediately and put the item away for a period of time. The period of time is up to you- it could be a week or it could be a month. When you think that he or she will no longer remember discussing the item with you, present it to them as a gift.
Take over a chore or daily task for your spouse without letting them know about your intentions. Mow the lawn, washing the car, cook and clean up from meals or clean the house- do something substantial for him or her. If you find that he or she loved having the break from a particular task, do it over and over again as often as you can.
One of the most recognizable symbols of a celebration is a balloon! Fill your car with balloons and take them home to him or her. Fill the living room before he or she gets home from work. Make sure you have some balloons marked with your names in hearts on them and some should have personal messages written as well. Begin the celebration of your love today.
Start celebrating each major and minor holiday with your spouse. Begin with New Year’s Eve and do it big. Go to New York City and go to Times Square if that’s as big as you can think! Valentine’s Day should be done as lavishly as possible. On the Fourth of July, plan to attend the most extravagant fireworks display you can find or plan on making fireworks of your own at home. Always celebrate each other’s birthdays and do it with flair. Your Anniversary should be a special day and celebrated with an expensive bottle of your favorite drink. Get dressed up on Halloween as your favorite fantasy characters and role-play for the entire evening. Celebrate any and every day you want by staying home from work and playing in bed. Celebrate as often of infrequently as you want to, but make sure you take the time to play, surprise each other and celebrate your relationship.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Dealing With The Failure Of A Relationship
Relationships are going to change over time no matter what. It is something that we cannot stop. However we are going to need to figure out a way to take on challenges and use the things that we learn from others to deal with failure. If marriage counseling doesn't work, there are ways to get over relationships that fail and to move on past the hard times that we all deal with.
Dealing with a failed relationship can be something very stressful if we let it. There are ways to make sure that we are positive about what we are doing and how well we handle things. Getting along with others is always an important part of behavior. There are ways that we can work at this type of effort and be the better person when it comes to making things work in a relationship.
When you find that you are having a hard time dealing with a certain relationship you should think about the things that you need to change. What is not working for you? Are you both the problem or is there one thing that is making it hard to concentrate on fixing the problem. Dealing with failure can be a difficult part of life. It is not easy to realize that you are not perfect and that you have made mistakes.
The one thing that we can be sure of is that we can learn from the mistakes in relationships that we have made. This is a good lesson to learn and something that we can use in other ways. When we find out that we are not doing something the way that we should and using our best judgments for certain things we will want to try and figure out a plan to take.
Take things in stride. Do not get upset and worried about every little thing. We have to be sincere and think of ideas to use in many certain circumstances. There is always advice that we can take to help us with the problems that we may face in a relationship. Making choices is not always something that is so easy. We have to learn from the mistakes that we make and try and come up with other ideas to make things easier and better.
It is also important to not dwell on something that has gone wrong in a relationship. If we have failed at something with someone then we must move on. There is no reason to use this one example as an excuse to be afraid to try it again with someone else. There are different approaches to different people and if we think about what the best way is then we will be better able to make things right with our relationships.
Put it this way, failure is going to happen no matter what. There are going to be times when you just want to throw in the towel and move on. However the one thing that is most important to know is that we have to work hard and not be afraid to move on. When we fail at one thing move onto another. There are so many things waiting for us out there and if we try and make them happen then we will be better able to achieve our goals and be the person that we most want to be.
Never be afraid to take on a challenge in a relationship. If you think that it is worth fixing then you need to work at it and consider marriage counseling if you are in a marriage. Putting the effort and the hard work at it will help to overcome failure in any type of relationship.
Dealing with a failed relationship can be something very stressful if we let it. There are ways to make sure that we are positive about what we are doing and how well we handle things. Getting along with others is always an important part of behavior. There are ways that we can work at this type of effort and be the better person when it comes to making things work in a relationship.
When you find that you are having a hard time dealing with a certain relationship you should think about the things that you need to change. What is not working for you? Are you both the problem or is there one thing that is making it hard to concentrate on fixing the problem. Dealing with failure can be a difficult part of life. It is not easy to realize that you are not perfect and that you have made mistakes.
The one thing that we can be sure of is that we can learn from the mistakes in relationships that we have made. This is a good lesson to learn and something that we can use in other ways. When we find out that we are not doing something the way that we should and using our best judgments for certain things we will want to try and figure out a plan to take.
Take things in stride. Do not get upset and worried about every little thing. We have to be sincere and think of ideas to use in many certain circumstances. There is always advice that we can take to help us with the problems that we may face in a relationship. Making choices is not always something that is so easy. We have to learn from the mistakes that we make and try and come up with other ideas to make things easier and better.
It is also important to not dwell on something that has gone wrong in a relationship. If we have failed at something with someone then we must move on. There is no reason to use this one example as an excuse to be afraid to try it again with someone else. There are different approaches to different people and if we think about what the best way is then we will be better able to make things right with our relationships.
Put it this way, failure is going to happen no matter what. There are going to be times when you just want to throw in the towel and move on. However the one thing that is most important to know is that we have to work hard and not be afraid to move on. When we fail at one thing move onto another. There are so many things waiting for us out there and if we try and make them happen then we will be better able to achieve our goals and be the person that we most want to be.
Never be afraid to take on a challenge in a relationship. If you think that it is worth fixing then you need to work at it and consider marriage counseling if you are in a marriage. Putting the effort and the hard work at it will help to overcome failure in any type of relationship.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Is an online relationship considered cheating?
Does your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend spend way too much time on the computer? If they do and if you do not know what they are doing, you may be wondering if your significant other is having an online relationship. Unfortunately, online relationships are often viewed differently, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be considered cheating.
When it comes to relationships that develop online, there are typically two sides to the story. The first side is that of the cheater or the individual carrying on the affair. If you ever catch your significant other having an online relationship, they may claim that it isn’t really cheating. This is because sometimes a physical meeting never takes place. So, essentially, your partner has never kissed or had physical sex with the person at the other end of the computer.
The second side of the story, where online relationships are concerned, is the side of the husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend who catches their partner acting inappropriately online. For starters, it is important to know that many individuals nowadays don’t just talk online. There are social networking websites, dating websites, and other similar websites that make it easier for internet users to meet up with each other. Just because you are told that a physical meeting did not occur, it does not mean that you are getting the truth. In fact, a meeting may have been planned right around the corner.
In keeping with viewing emotional affairs from the viewpoint of those who are being “cheated,” on, it is important to examine the harm caused. Phone sex is a popular activity for couples in long distance relationships. This may be occurring or it may be done online. Despite the fact that physical contact has still not been made, inappropriate actions are still being performed. Plus, even if sexy or seductive emails are the only thing exchanged, it can still hurt. For many men and women, emotional affairs can be just as painful and as heart breaking.
So, do you suspect that your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend is having an inappropriate relationship online. If you do, there are a number of steps that you can take to get answers. For starters, try to enter the computer room. If it is locked, there is a good sign that something inappropriate is going on. Next, when you enter the room, place all of your focus on the computer screen. Does your partner quickly change what is appearing on the screen? Next, approach them, as if you intend to give them a hug or a kiss. Towards the bottom of the screen should be a task bar. This bar will give you information on programs that are open, including pornographic websites, video players, and so forth.
If you suspect that your partner is having inappropriate relationships online, it is a good idea to first think about your actions. Unfortunately, many men and women are so surprised when they do catch what is happening that they don’t know how to act. Be prepared. Do you want to limit computer use, get rid of the computer altogether, take a break, or completely cut ties? There are a number of benefits to having a set plan in place before you confront your cheating spouse.
Remember that online relationships can often develop into more than just a few flirty emails here and there. Good luck! And remember, if you suspect something may be going on, consider marriage counseling!
When it comes to relationships that develop online, there are typically two sides to the story. The first side is that of the cheater or the individual carrying on the affair. If you ever catch your significant other having an online relationship, they may claim that it isn’t really cheating. This is because sometimes a physical meeting never takes place. So, essentially, your partner has never kissed or had physical sex with the person at the other end of the computer.
The second side of the story, where online relationships are concerned, is the side of the husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend who catches their partner acting inappropriately online. For starters, it is important to know that many individuals nowadays don’t just talk online. There are social networking websites, dating websites, and other similar websites that make it easier for internet users to meet up with each other. Just because you are told that a physical meeting did not occur, it does not mean that you are getting the truth. In fact, a meeting may have been planned right around the corner.
In keeping with viewing emotional affairs from the viewpoint of those who are being “cheated,” on, it is important to examine the harm caused. Phone sex is a popular activity for couples in long distance relationships. This may be occurring or it may be done online. Despite the fact that physical contact has still not been made, inappropriate actions are still being performed. Plus, even if sexy or seductive emails are the only thing exchanged, it can still hurt. For many men and women, emotional affairs can be just as painful and as heart breaking.
So, do you suspect that your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend is having an inappropriate relationship online. If you do, there are a number of steps that you can take to get answers. For starters, try to enter the computer room. If it is locked, there is a good sign that something inappropriate is going on. Next, when you enter the room, place all of your focus on the computer screen. Does your partner quickly change what is appearing on the screen? Next, approach them, as if you intend to give them a hug or a kiss. Towards the bottom of the screen should be a task bar. This bar will give you information on programs that are open, including pornographic websites, video players, and so forth.
If you suspect that your partner is having inappropriate relationships online, it is a good idea to first think about your actions. Unfortunately, many men and women are so surprised when they do catch what is happening that they don’t know how to act. Be prepared. Do you want to limit computer use, get rid of the computer altogether, take a break, or completely cut ties? There are a number of benefits to having a set plan in place before you confront your cheating spouse.
Remember that online relationships can often develop into more than just a few flirty emails here and there. Good luck! And remember, if you suspect something may be going on, consider marriage counseling!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Mistakes That A Cheater May Make
Do you suspect that your spouse or your romantic partner is cheating on you? This may be an indication of a low trust level between you two. This is one of many reasons that you may want to consider marriage counseling. However, you may also be looking for ways to catch him or her in action. Fortunately for you, this may be easier to do than you originally thought. Why? Because many cheaters make simple, yet costly mistakes in their relationships.
As stated above, many cheaters make mistakes. These mistakes can actually make it much easier for you to catch your cheating spouse or romantic partner. A few of the common mistakes that cheaters, both men and women, make are outlined below.
Mistake # 1 – Believing They Won’t Get Caught
The biggest mistake that cheaters make is believing that they won’t get caught. This often leads cheaters to become bolder, braver, as well as display reckless behavior. Yes, it is true that some men and women are able to carry on affairs for years without their spouses or romantic partners knowing, but this is actually quite rare. Due to the other mistakes that are listed below, most cheaters end up getting caught at one time or another.
Mistake # 2 – Believing Their Partner Will Forgive Them
If you are unfortunate enough to learn that your spouse or romantic partner is cheating on you, you may be surprised with their actions. Many cheaters, regardless of gender, appear shocked when their significant other is upset. This is because many cheaters expect their partners to automatically forgive them, like by writing off the cheating as a simple mistake.
Mistake # 3 – Believing They Did or Are Doing Nothing Wrong
As previously stated, many cheaters expect not to get caught and those who do get caught expect to be forgiven right away. These same individuals likely believe that they aren’t doing anything wrong. The good news for you though is that men and women who assume they aren’t doing anything wrong by cheating, don’t always cover their tracks. This means that it should be easier for you to catch a cheating spouse or romantic partner and take the appropriate action.
Mistake # 4 – Changing Their Appearance
When men and women have affairs, they often feel revived. This often results in them wanting to take better care of themselves and improve their physical appearance. Of course, it is important to remember that there may be a good reason for your significant other to get a makeover or change their wardrobe, but it is often a sign of cheating. In fact, it is such a common and well-known sign that you have to wonder what your significant other is thinking when openly making these changes.
Mistake # 5 – Making Themselves Unavailable
When a husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend suspects that their partner is cheating on them, they often try and contact their significant other whey they don’t know where they are. This contact is often made by phone. One mistake that cheaters make is not picking up the phone. Yes, they are probably “busy,” but cheaters who answer the phone and come up with a plausible excuse for not being home or being out of reach, are likely to get away with cheating longer.
Mistake # 6 – Talking Too Much or Flaunting Affair
In keeping with the mistake of believing that they will get away with it, many cheaters make the mistake of talking about their affair or getting braver. This may involve going out in public, as opposed to meeting in secret. What many cheaters do not realize is that people talk, even the people who they believe they can trust and those closest to them. In fact, this is how many people become aware of a cheating spouse or romantic partner; they hear the rumors that are flying.
The above mentioned mistakes are just a few of the many, but common mistakes that cheaters make. Be on the lookout for a few of these mistakes, as they may be a good sign that you significant other is cheating on you. Even if it turns out the significant other isn't cheating, remember, if there are problems in the relationship, go to marriage counseling!
As stated above, many cheaters make mistakes. These mistakes can actually make it much easier for you to catch your cheating spouse or romantic partner. A few of the common mistakes that cheaters, both men and women, make are outlined below.
Mistake # 1 – Believing They Won’t Get Caught
The biggest mistake that cheaters make is believing that they won’t get caught. This often leads cheaters to become bolder, braver, as well as display reckless behavior. Yes, it is true that some men and women are able to carry on affairs for years without their spouses or romantic partners knowing, but this is actually quite rare. Due to the other mistakes that are listed below, most cheaters end up getting caught at one time or another.
Mistake # 2 – Believing Their Partner Will Forgive Them
If you are unfortunate enough to learn that your spouse or romantic partner is cheating on you, you may be surprised with their actions. Many cheaters, regardless of gender, appear shocked when their significant other is upset. This is because many cheaters expect their partners to automatically forgive them, like by writing off the cheating as a simple mistake.
Mistake # 3 – Believing They Did or Are Doing Nothing Wrong
As previously stated, many cheaters expect not to get caught and those who do get caught expect to be forgiven right away. These same individuals likely believe that they aren’t doing anything wrong. The good news for you though is that men and women who assume they aren’t doing anything wrong by cheating, don’t always cover their tracks. This means that it should be easier for you to catch a cheating spouse or romantic partner and take the appropriate action.
Mistake # 4 – Changing Their Appearance
When men and women have affairs, they often feel revived. This often results in them wanting to take better care of themselves and improve their physical appearance. Of course, it is important to remember that there may be a good reason for your significant other to get a makeover or change their wardrobe, but it is often a sign of cheating. In fact, it is such a common and well-known sign that you have to wonder what your significant other is thinking when openly making these changes.
Mistake # 5 – Making Themselves Unavailable
When a husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend suspects that their partner is cheating on them, they often try and contact their significant other whey they don’t know where they are. This contact is often made by phone. One mistake that cheaters make is not picking up the phone. Yes, they are probably “busy,” but cheaters who answer the phone and come up with a plausible excuse for not being home or being out of reach, are likely to get away with cheating longer.
Mistake # 6 – Talking Too Much or Flaunting Affair
In keeping with the mistake of believing that they will get away with it, many cheaters make the mistake of talking about their affair or getting braver. This may involve going out in public, as opposed to meeting in secret. What many cheaters do not realize is that people talk, even the people who they believe they can trust and those closest to them. In fact, this is how many people become aware of a cheating spouse or romantic partner; they hear the rumors that are flying.
The above mentioned mistakes are just a few of the many, but common mistakes that cheaters make. Be on the lookout for a few of these mistakes, as they may be a good sign that you significant other is cheating on you. Even if it turns out the significant other isn't cheating, remember, if there are problems in the relationship, go to marriage counseling!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Even Famous People Get Marriage Counseling
Here is proof that even more famous people get marriage counseling.
If Marriage Counseling Doesn't Work and You Are A Parent, What Should You Know?
What parents need to avoid when getting a divorce
If marriage counseling didn't work and you are getting a divorce and there are children involved, it is important to be careful how you react in front of the children. After you tell them what is going on and explaining to them that they are still loved by both parents, you do not want to upset them in any way. You need to make sure that the children are feeling safe and secure knowing that both parents love them.
You should never have a fight in front of the children with the other parent. This will be very disturbing to the children and may cause them to be fearful of what may happen in the future. You should not speak in a bad way about the other parent as well. You have to be very careful not to call the other parent names or talk bad about any thing that they have done.
Never keep the children away from the other parent unless they are in danger of anything. You should let the children see the parent when they feel the need to. Let them know that they can call them anytime and you will be happy to drive them to see you’re soon to ex spouse’s residence any time that they want.
You never want to distance yourself from your children. You have to keep up your responsibly of being a parent. You need to communicate with your child and be a good parent. It is a hard time and can be very depressing for a lot of adults. It is important to keep up your strength both physically and emotionally for the children’s sake.
Do not try and buy the child’s affection with gifts and money. You need to spend time with them and let them know that they are the most important things right now. You need to keep all of your promises to them and do not abandon them for any reason. If you say that you are going to be there is a certain time, you need to be there.
If you think that the child needs to have therapy, you should make the necessary arrangements. Do you feel your child needs to talk to someone, if they need to talk to a professional let them, as this is going to help a child in the long run. It is crucial to the children to be able to discuss their feeling and to be reassured that they have nothing to worry about concerning the divorce. It is nothing to be ashamed of and the child should be made to feel comfortable about all that is going on around them.
If marriage counseling didn't work and you are getting a divorce and there are children involved, it is important to be careful how you react in front of the children. After you tell them what is going on and explaining to them that they are still loved by both parents, you do not want to upset them in any way. You need to make sure that the children are feeling safe and secure knowing that both parents love them.
You should never have a fight in front of the children with the other parent. This will be very disturbing to the children and may cause them to be fearful of what may happen in the future. You should not speak in a bad way about the other parent as well. You have to be very careful not to call the other parent names or talk bad about any thing that they have done.
Never keep the children away from the other parent unless they are in danger of anything. You should let the children see the parent when they feel the need to. Let them know that they can call them anytime and you will be happy to drive them to see you’re soon to ex spouse’s residence any time that they want.
You never want to distance yourself from your children. You have to keep up your responsibly of being a parent. You need to communicate with your child and be a good parent. It is a hard time and can be very depressing for a lot of adults. It is important to keep up your strength both physically and emotionally for the children’s sake.
Do not try and buy the child’s affection with gifts and money. You need to spend time with them and let them know that they are the most important things right now. You need to keep all of your promises to them and do not abandon them for any reason. If you say that you are going to be there is a certain time, you need to be there.
If you think that the child needs to have therapy, you should make the necessary arrangements. Do you feel your child needs to talk to someone, if they need to talk to a professional let them, as this is going to help a child in the long run. It is crucial to the children to be able to discuss their feeling and to be reassured that they have nothing to worry about concerning the divorce. It is nothing to be ashamed of and the child should be made to feel comfortable about all that is going on around them.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
What is a divorce?
What is a divorce?
Sometimes married couples do not get along and find that they are never going to make the marriage work. If marriage counseling doesn't work then a divorce comes into mind. A divorce is a legal action between married people to terminate their marriage relationship. It is a hard time for all that is involved.
There is something that is called a no fault divorce. This means that the court does not get in to why the couple wants to be divorced. It used to be that the person starting the divorce had to prove certain reasons for getting divorced. Some of these reasons included adultery or abuse. This time was often difficult for the couple and even a little embarrassing. The questions of what parties had been doing are private and these topics come out in the courtroom.
Now the law is different and it allows one of the parties to get a divorce if he or she states in court that the marriage is irretrievably broken. Usually the judge will not ask any other questions about the marriage and allow the divorce to move on.
In some divorces, however, they can get messy and there are many emotions brought out in court. This is a hard time to deal with and many people go through very depressing times. In some of the instances, one party does not want the divorce and they will fight it with all that they have. This will make the situation harder on both parties.
Some court systems will want to make sure that the couple is doing the right thing. They will in some cases order the couple to seek counseling. This is usually only for the couples that there is hope for. This is not for everyone and it is important to do only if one or both of the parties involved thinks that there is a chance for reconciliation.
People often times give up on their marriage too quickly. Seriously, if you have the money, try marriage counseling first! Or... if you want to save a lot of money, consider trying the save my marriage course. It's a downloadable course that you can download today. However, another problem is, in some cases, they never really give the other person or the marriage a chance. There are hard times in all marriages and some people decide to try and work it out, while others tend to just want to give it all up as fast as they can.
It is always best to do what makes both parties happy and able to move on and get back to living the rest of their life. Going through a divorce will be one of the toughest things a person can live through. But if you've been through marriage counseling and nothing else worked, a divorce is probably for the best!
Sometimes married couples do not get along and find that they are never going to make the marriage work. If marriage counseling doesn't work then a divorce comes into mind. A divorce is a legal action between married people to terminate their marriage relationship. It is a hard time for all that is involved.
There is something that is called a no fault divorce. This means that the court does not get in to why the couple wants to be divorced. It used to be that the person starting the divorce had to prove certain reasons for getting divorced. Some of these reasons included adultery or abuse. This time was often difficult for the couple and even a little embarrassing. The questions of what parties had been doing are private and these topics come out in the courtroom.
Now the law is different and it allows one of the parties to get a divorce if he or she states in court that the marriage is irretrievably broken. Usually the judge will not ask any other questions about the marriage and allow the divorce to move on.
In some divorces, however, they can get messy and there are many emotions brought out in court. This is a hard time to deal with and many people go through very depressing times. In some of the instances, one party does not want the divorce and they will fight it with all that they have. This will make the situation harder on both parties.
Some court systems will want to make sure that the couple is doing the right thing. They will in some cases order the couple to seek counseling. This is usually only for the couples that there is hope for. This is not for everyone and it is important to do only if one or both of the parties involved thinks that there is a chance for reconciliation.
People often times give up on their marriage too quickly. Seriously, if you have the money, try marriage counseling first! Or... if you want to save a lot of money, consider trying the save my marriage course. It's a downloadable course that you can download today. However, another problem is, in some cases, they never really give the other person or the marriage a chance. There are hard times in all marriages and some people decide to try and work it out, while others tend to just want to give it all up as fast as they can.
It is always best to do what makes both parties happy and able to move on and get back to living the rest of their life. Going through a divorce will be one of the toughest things a person can live through. But if you've been through marriage counseling and nothing else worked, a divorce is probably for the best!
Marriage Counseling Didn't Work, Need A Divorce?
Should you have an attorney for a divorce?
If marriage counseling failed and you are thinking about a divorce or your spouse has already filed for a divorce, it is a good idea to get an attorney. This is something that you should do to protect yourself. You will have a lot of questions and you will defiantly need to have answers. You need to be made aware of all the possible outcomes and do what you need to in order to protect your future.
There is always the option of representing yourself in a divorce proceeding. However, like marriage counseling,this is not always the recommendation and won't always work. If there are serious questions involved like children or assets, it is better to have the assistance of an attorney. The attorney can represent only one of the parities involved. If you are not able to afford an attorney, the judge may seek assistance for you from your spouse.
One reason to get an attorney for a divorce proceeding is because there may be spousal support involved. This is called alimony. Depending on the length of time you were married, the age and health of the parties involved, and the ability for one of the parties to earn income and maintain the marital standard of living, the court may order support paid by one spouse to another. This is different question from child support.
Spousal support can be for a limited time period or for an indefinite period depending on the circumstances. It can be reviewed if there is a significant change in the circumstances of either the former spouse. If the spousal support question is waived, then the party giving up the support may not ever come back to ask the court to award it again.
You may also want to have an attorney to protect pensions and retirement accounts. Pensions and retirement are marital property and it can be divided in a divorce. They can be given a present value based on the kind of pension and the parties’ rights to receive an income from that pension. Usually the court system is fair in this decision, but an attorney will fight for your rights and make sure that your side of the fight is heard.
If you are not happy with the attorney that you have hired, you should defiantly talk to them about it. Explain your case and make them understand that you attending marriage counseling and explain why you are not happy with thei attorneys work. If you cannot work out the situation with your attorney, you do have the right to find another attorney at any point in the game.
If marriage counseling failed and you are thinking about a divorce or your spouse has already filed for a divorce, it is a good idea to get an attorney. This is something that you should do to protect yourself. You will have a lot of questions and you will defiantly need to have answers. You need to be made aware of all the possible outcomes and do what you need to in order to protect your future.
There is always the option of representing yourself in a divorce proceeding. However, like marriage counseling,this is not always the recommendation and won't always work. If there are serious questions involved like children or assets, it is better to have the assistance of an attorney. The attorney can represent only one of the parities involved. If you are not able to afford an attorney, the judge may seek assistance for you from your spouse.
One reason to get an attorney for a divorce proceeding is because there may be spousal support involved. This is called alimony. Depending on the length of time you were married, the age and health of the parties involved, and the ability for one of the parties to earn income and maintain the marital standard of living, the court may order support paid by one spouse to another. This is different question from child support.
Spousal support can be for a limited time period or for an indefinite period depending on the circumstances. It can be reviewed if there is a significant change in the circumstances of either the former spouse. If the spousal support question is waived, then the party giving up the support may not ever come back to ask the court to award it again.
You may also want to have an attorney to protect pensions and retirement accounts. Pensions and retirement are marital property and it can be divided in a divorce. They can be given a present value based on the kind of pension and the parties’ rights to receive an income from that pension. Usually the court system is fair in this decision, but an attorney will fight for your rights and make sure that your side of the fight is heard.
If you are not happy with the attorney that you have hired, you should defiantly talk to them about it. Explain your case and make them understand that you attending marriage counseling and explain why you are not happy with thei attorneys work. If you cannot work out the situation with your attorney, you do have the right to find another attorney at any point in the game.
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