Many people who need marriage help take their search for answers to their problems where they take their searches for everything else – online. But is it possible to find marriage help through an Internet search engine the way you search for Persian rugs, hip boots or camping equipment?
The answer is simple: sure!
Use your favorite search engine and type in the words “marriage help.” You’ll find a plethora of sites offering information, articles, and other resources. Using the Internet as an initial search for marriage help may bring some matters to your attention that you had not thought of previously. Maybe you are married to an alcoholic and did not know there were Al-anon and Al-ateen meetings in your area until you found them listed online.
While the Internet can be a good source of information, make sure you research your problem and verify the abilities and credentials of anyone who offers marriage advice. It’s like any other business you might do online. You just need to be a smart, well informed consumer.
Be cautious of paying anyone who poses as an online counselor. Before spending any money on products or services “guaranteed” to help your marriage, do the necessary research into the company who is making the promises. For instance, if a person says he or she is a counselor in a particular state, make the extra step and investigate his or her qualifications and verify whether the counselor is currently licenses. If you are having marriage problems, the last thing you want is to take advice from someone not licensed to give you advice.
If you can identify specific problems you are having in your marriage, do a search for those online. You will find specific information related to your specific problem. The Internet is a great place to learn about assistance available to victims of domestic abuse, alcohol and drug abuse and many other situations that can be helpful as you search for marriage help.
Just remember to be a smart consumer. Read all you can about your particular issues and marriage problems. Knowledge is power and you must be strong to work through the relationship issues you are having with your spouse.
For my recommendation on how to save your marriage, I recommend the save my marriage course. It's like marriage counseling, but not as expensive.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Can A Marriage Survive Cheating?
There are marriages and there are marriages. You can expect/demand the sun, moon and the stars or almost nothing. It's a question of personality and perspective. But there is no doubt that the most important thing in a marriage, as in any other relationship, is honesty and real understanding.
In a marriage of the kind we all yearn to have, fidelity is vital. It implies a commitment that's total and complete. You seek the closest intimacy possible from no one else, so sufficient is the love you receive. What could be more reassuring, more meaningful? But a relationship that intense, comes with a price tag.
And infidelity in a relationship based on such love can be shattering. Nothing can fix that first fine careless rupture. Trust is ruptured forever. It's a betrayal that leaves you feeling painfully inadequate.
You look back through the prism of time and realise how wonderfully didactic you were in your youth! At 25, black and white could never co-exist. But then, life happens. And you realise that grey exists, and it is often a zone that needs far more maturity and understanding to inhabit than you ever dreamt.
When you've been married nearly 27 years, the first lesson you learn is that marriage is a relationship which, like human beings themselves, is constantly morphing and evolving. It's an equation where the variables change the answers constantly. People sometimes lead married lives together with infidelity between them. Children, autumn love, companionship allow such relationships to survive.
But at the end of the day, it's really what you want from your marriage and partner. You can survive infidelity (don't we survive everything?), but that's the right word, isn't it? Survive. If you want more, you have to sacrifice something. That my friend, is the nature of the beast.
I recommend checking out the save my marriage course. This may help you to save your marriage.
In a marriage of the kind we all yearn to have, fidelity is vital. It implies a commitment that's total and complete. You seek the closest intimacy possible from no one else, so sufficient is the love you receive. What could be more reassuring, more meaningful? But a relationship that intense, comes with a price tag.
And infidelity in a relationship based on such love can be shattering. Nothing can fix that first fine careless rupture. Trust is ruptured forever. It's a betrayal that leaves you feeling painfully inadequate.
You look back through the prism of time and realise how wonderfully didactic you were in your youth! At 25, black and white could never co-exist. But then, life happens. And you realise that grey exists, and it is often a zone that needs far more maturity and understanding to inhabit than you ever dreamt.
When you've been married nearly 27 years, the first lesson you learn is that marriage is a relationship which, like human beings themselves, is constantly morphing and evolving. It's an equation where the variables change the answers constantly. People sometimes lead married lives together with infidelity between them. Children, autumn love, companionship allow such relationships to survive.
But at the end of the day, it's really what you want from your marriage and partner. You can survive infidelity (don't we survive everything?), but that's the right word, isn't it? Survive. If you want more, you have to sacrifice something. That my friend, is the nature of the beast.
I recommend checking out the save my marriage course. This may help you to save your marriage.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
A Marriage Made In Heaven
Looking for a paradise wedding, or have friends that are looking for the perfect place to get married? We have lots of romantic ideas for a heavenly Maui wedding.
At the beach, near a waterfall or in a chapel, with the fragrance of tropical flowers borne on gentle trade winds caressing your face -- a Maui sun bids ‘Aloha’ to another day in Paradise. It is quite simply, the perfect place to celebrate your wedding vows.
Here are a few of the ingredients that will imprint your wedding day on your minds for years to come.
Maui, Hawaii is the second largest island in the Hawaiian archipelago in both size and population, located some 1,800 miles off the south western seaboard of the United States.
Hawaii is one of the top tourist destinations for the majority of Americans and hence a Maui wedding is highly desirable, taking place in one of the world’s foremost wedding and honeymoon destinations.
The weather in Maui is also most attractive as it is year round tropical; however it is most consistently pleasant outside the months of January and February (dead of winter).
Maui offers several fascinating attractions, including the unforgettable sight of a surfacing whale, biking through wine country, snorkeling the tiny atoll of Molokini, or enjoying a stage production at the Historic 'Iao Theater.
A reasonable stay of seven days, or more is recommended if you want to explore more than one Hawaiian Island.
Maui, Hawaii offers the enamored an ideal place to declare their love. Several professional services for Maui Weddings are in great demand, and wedding providers such as ParadiseMaui.com are at hand to assist in every way, from classic beach weddings to larger formal affairs.
A beautiful wedding of land and sea, the island of Maui offers newlyweds any number of romantic options.
An authentic Maui wedding might require the services of a ‘kahu’, which is a Hawaiian minister.
A Maui wedding may also include an elaborate ‘luau’ (pronounced loo-ow) celebration. A luau is a Hawaiian gathering of family and friends to enjoy good food, company and times.
In addition to the Hawaiian tradition of the ceremony, many couples decide to incorporate the exchanging of the lei, where each person gives their betrothed a lei. (A lei is a flower necklace.) For the bride, the pikake lei seems to be one of the most popular varieties because of its sweet fragrance and delicate appearance.
Pikake is a seasonal flower and has limited availability, but there are many other fragrant flowers to choose from. Grooms usually receive a maile lei, which is quite masculine and drapes loosely around the neck. The maile lei has beautiful green leaves which have a sweet smell and little fragrance. It also dries quickly and can be retained as a cherished keepsake for many years to come.
Another tradition that is sometimes performed is the conch shell announcement of the ceremony. Here a conch shell blower introduces the nuptials, and a Hawaiian chanter often follows in precession. A hula dance usually adds the perfect touch of Hawaii and can portray a beautiful message of love. Some brides have even taken it upon themselves to learn a hula dance and perform it as a surprise to their grooms. (The hiring of a professional hula dancer can be easily arranged.)
Hawaiian music can easily be adapted for any wedding. A soulful ukulele and guitar accompaniment can evoke the most melodic sounds. The “Hawaiian Wedding Song” is a popular request for many wedding couples here in Maui.
At the beach, near a waterfall or in a chapel, with the fragrance of tropical flowers borne on gentle trade winds caressing your face -- a Maui sun bids ‘Aloha’ to another day in Paradise. It is quite simply, the perfect place to celebrate your wedding vows.
Here are a few of the ingredients that will imprint your wedding day on your minds for years to come.
Maui, Hawaii is the second largest island in the Hawaiian archipelago in both size and population, located some 1,800 miles off the south western seaboard of the United States.
Hawaii is one of the top tourist destinations for the majority of Americans and hence a Maui wedding is highly desirable, taking place in one of the world’s foremost wedding and honeymoon destinations.
The weather in Maui is also most attractive as it is year round tropical; however it is most consistently pleasant outside the months of January and February (dead of winter).
Maui offers several fascinating attractions, including the unforgettable sight of a surfacing whale, biking through wine country, snorkeling the tiny atoll of Molokini, or enjoying a stage production at the Historic 'Iao Theater.
A reasonable stay of seven days, or more is recommended if you want to explore more than one Hawaiian Island.
Maui, Hawaii offers the enamored an ideal place to declare their love. Several professional services for Maui Weddings are in great demand, and wedding providers such as ParadiseMaui.com are at hand to assist in every way, from classic beach weddings to larger formal affairs.
A beautiful wedding of land and sea, the island of Maui offers newlyweds any number of romantic options.
An authentic Maui wedding might require the services of a ‘kahu’, which is a Hawaiian minister.
A Maui wedding may also include an elaborate ‘luau’ (pronounced loo-ow) celebration. A luau is a Hawaiian gathering of family and friends to enjoy good food, company and times.
In addition to the Hawaiian tradition of the ceremony, many couples decide to incorporate the exchanging of the lei, where each person gives their betrothed a lei. (A lei is a flower necklace.) For the bride, the pikake lei seems to be one of the most popular varieties because of its sweet fragrance and delicate appearance.
Pikake is a seasonal flower and has limited availability, but there are many other fragrant flowers to choose from. Grooms usually receive a maile lei, which is quite masculine and drapes loosely around the neck. The maile lei has beautiful green leaves which have a sweet smell and little fragrance. It also dries quickly and can be retained as a cherished keepsake for many years to come.
Another tradition that is sometimes performed is the conch shell announcement of the ceremony. Here a conch shell blower introduces the nuptials, and a Hawaiian chanter often follows in precession. A hula dance usually adds the perfect touch of Hawaii and can portray a beautiful message of love. Some brides have even taken it upon themselves to learn a hula dance and perform it as a surprise to their grooms. (The hiring of a professional hula dancer can be easily arranged.)
Hawaiian music can easily be adapted for any wedding. A soulful ukulele and guitar accompaniment can evoke the most melodic sounds. The “Hawaiian Wedding Song” is a popular request for many wedding couples here in Maui.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Giving Marriage Another Shot
Before making another step in marrying again, are you ready to experience again the consequences of living again with someone?
First, you must review the performance you made in your first marriage. You will ask to yourself, how could I be a better spouse? How come our union ended in divorce? What really went wrong? What weaknesses do I still need to work on? There are many questions remained in your first marriage. So you must able to answer first all unending questions before thinking to marry again.
Second, know what you’re really looking for in a partner. Be sure of the character traits you want. Don’t force yourself to settle down just because you’re lonely and in dire need of a companion. Finally, let time answer your questions. Enjoy your freedom, at least for a moment and give yourself much time in finding your potential mate before you say “I do” again.
In entering another chapter in your life, second marriage is a very challenging obligation for you. Many different things will about to change in your everyday life when you finally decided in remarrying again. Freedom of you will be lost again. You must be prepared of the new responsibility you will take and how you take it with readiness.
For marrying the second time around, there are lots of things to consider for making it a successful one. There are many situations you must able to fully understand in order to avoid again differences to your new spouse. These are the following:
•EXPECTATIONS FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
In the beginning of the second marriage, problems will not occur instantly. As to a new couple, you are savouring your new found love. However, too many expectations may arise when one is to demanding to the other. This can be fixed if you can tell what your limitations are and what you can only do.
•REALISTIC APPROACH OF LOVE
This can be the best thing ever happened to the second marriage. Love must blossom unconditionally with respect. Give and take-this is for the equal releasing of feelings.
•POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND OUTLOOK IN LIFE
It may not be perfect at all, but happy in what you have. Do not force yourself in giving just to ensure the happiness on your spouse. You must be contended of the abilities and capabilities of your partner. Encourage your partner in giving his/her best in any other way.
•COMMUNICATING ABOUT FEELINGS
You must be open to what you really feel. Have the time to talk. This can help in keeping the flame alive. Listen to your partner. In listening you get what he/she wants to relate.
•UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES
You may not be able to do everything, it’s doesn’t cost you to any problem. Understanding and accepting weaknesses are part of marriage. Humans are not perfect, so they intend to make wrong actions. You must respect the little things he/she made.
•MAKING DECISIONS AND SETTLING ARGUMENTS
These kinds of situations are very crucial. It can make or brake. In making decisions you must tell what you’re thinking. Possibly, accept your partner’s opinion. Settle your arguments in due time. Arguments are really mind busters. This may create gaps in the relationship.
•COMMON SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION AND GOAL
It may be good if both of you believe in the same religion doctrine. It can avoid debates on what are the right beliefs. A dream of a perfect family is one common goal. This can be done if both are very cooperative and serious. It can be a good foundation in the years to come. This can be the guiding force of making a successful relationship.
•COMBINING A FAMILY
What if your new spouse has a child or children in his/her previous marriage? You must know at least step-parenting skills. You are dealing emotions of their new environment. Be a good at them as they are also important to your spouse’s life. Accept them as you accepted your partner. Make them also one of your main priorities.
In committing your life again to someone, make it sure that you are really serious and prepared. Sacrifice and true love must be your agenda as for marriage it’s not taken for granted. So to speak, may your second marriage be a successful and fruitful one.
Best wishes and good luck.
First, you must review the performance you made in your first marriage. You will ask to yourself, how could I be a better spouse? How come our union ended in divorce? What really went wrong? What weaknesses do I still need to work on? There are many questions remained in your first marriage. So you must able to answer first all unending questions before thinking to marry again.
Second, know what you’re really looking for in a partner. Be sure of the character traits you want. Don’t force yourself to settle down just because you’re lonely and in dire need of a companion. Finally, let time answer your questions. Enjoy your freedom, at least for a moment and give yourself much time in finding your potential mate before you say “I do” again.
In entering another chapter in your life, second marriage is a very challenging obligation for you. Many different things will about to change in your everyday life when you finally decided in remarrying again. Freedom of you will be lost again. You must be prepared of the new responsibility you will take and how you take it with readiness.
For marrying the second time around, there are lots of things to consider for making it a successful one. There are many situations you must able to fully understand in order to avoid again differences to your new spouse. These are the following:
•EXPECTATIONS FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
In the beginning of the second marriage, problems will not occur instantly. As to a new couple, you are savouring your new found love. However, too many expectations may arise when one is to demanding to the other. This can be fixed if you can tell what your limitations are and what you can only do.
•REALISTIC APPROACH OF LOVE
This can be the best thing ever happened to the second marriage. Love must blossom unconditionally with respect. Give and take-this is for the equal releasing of feelings.
•POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND OUTLOOK IN LIFE
It may not be perfect at all, but happy in what you have. Do not force yourself in giving just to ensure the happiness on your spouse. You must be contended of the abilities and capabilities of your partner. Encourage your partner in giving his/her best in any other way.
•COMMUNICATING ABOUT FEELINGS
You must be open to what you really feel. Have the time to talk. This can help in keeping the flame alive. Listen to your partner. In listening you get what he/she wants to relate.
•UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES
You may not be able to do everything, it’s doesn’t cost you to any problem. Understanding and accepting weaknesses are part of marriage. Humans are not perfect, so they intend to make wrong actions. You must respect the little things he/she made.
•MAKING DECISIONS AND SETTLING ARGUMENTS
These kinds of situations are very crucial. It can make or brake. In making decisions you must tell what you’re thinking. Possibly, accept your partner’s opinion. Settle your arguments in due time. Arguments are really mind busters. This may create gaps in the relationship.
•COMMON SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION AND GOAL
It may be good if both of you believe in the same religion doctrine. It can avoid debates on what are the right beliefs. A dream of a perfect family is one common goal. This can be done if both are very cooperative and serious. It can be a good foundation in the years to come. This can be the guiding force of making a successful relationship.
•COMBINING A FAMILY
What if your new spouse has a child or children in his/her previous marriage? You must know at least step-parenting skills. You are dealing emotions of their new environment. Be a good at them as they are also important to your spouse’s life. Accept them as you accepted your partner. Make them also one of your main priorities.
In committing your life again to someone, make it sure that you are really serious and prepared. Sacrifice and true love must be your agenda as for marriage it’s not taken for granted. So to speak, may your second marriage be a successful and fruitful one.
Best wishes and good luck.
Friday, September 18, 2009
More Advice For Keeping Your Marriage Healthy
Advice for a good marriage can in some cases seem a little obvious, but in a lot of cases it can seem like just the advice you need. When you are involved in a long term relationship, sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees, and it takes only the most basic advice for us to see what is wrong. Check this article out for more information.
Advice for a good marriage 1
The best piece of advice is to be honest with yourself about when it is and isn't working. If you kid yourself that everything is fine when it isn't, things are hardly likely to get better-in fact you will usually notice things getting steadily worse. The sooner you spot and admit to problems, the sooner you can move past them. Half the work is done as soon as you admit something is wrong, so don't be afraid.
Advice for a good marriage 2
Learn to communicate effectively. Too often relationships degenerate into accusations and fighting as the default method of interaction. Can you honestly hope for things to last if that's how you both behave? If you have something under your skin, sit down and talk it out. Talking about things sensibly rarely makes things worse-unlike accusations and arguing!
Advice for a good marriage 3
Understand that you can't fix the problems in your marriage solely fixing your partner's behaviour. A marriage is exactly that-the joining of two people-so it's not healthy to make one person do all the changing and adapting. This will not lead to a healthy relationship. It's much better to sit and talk it out and then work out how you can both make things better for each other. It's also a lot easier this way, as each of you will usually only need to make small adjustments to keep the other happy.
Advice for a good marriage 4
Learn the difference between being in love and falling in love. When you fall in love, the person can do no wrong and people are able to behave in ways that their partner may not necessarily agree with in a normal state of mind. That's why it can take work to stay in love-the love is still there, but you can't expect to act however you please and for it to still be there. Love is like a fire, it sometimes needs to be tended to make sure it still burns.
Advice for a good marriage 5
Understand the principles of marriage karma-you get what you give, so if you go the extra yard for your partner and prove yourself to be kind, caring and considerate, the chances are they will act a lot more like that toward you too. Think about when you see couples that are really in love-it's rarely just one of them doing the kind things is it?
Hopefully this advice for a good marriage will help you out. Check out the links below for some great information on fixing your marriage for good.
Save My Marriage Course
Advice for a good marriage 1
The best piece of advice is to be honest with yourself about when it is and isn't working. If you kid yourself that everything is fine when it isn't, things are hardly likely to get better-in fact you will usually notice things getting steadily worse. The sooner you spot and admit to problems, the sooner you can move past them. Half the work is done as soon as you admit something is wrong, so don't be afraid.
Advice for a good marriage 2
Learn to communicate effectively. Too often relationships degenerate into accusations and fighting as the default method of interaction. Can you honestly hope for things to last if that's how you both behave? If you have something under your skin, sit down and talk it out. Talking about things sensibly rarely makes things worse-unlike accusations and arguing!
Advice for a good marriage 3
Understand that you can't fix the problems in your marriage solely fixing your partner's behaviour. A marriage is exactly that-the joining of two people-so it's not healthy to make one person do all the changing and adapting. This will not lead to a healthy relationship. It's much better to sit and talk it out and then work out how you can both make things better for each other. It's also a lot easier this way, as each of you will usually only need to make small adjustments to keep the other happy.
Advice for a good marriage 4
Learn the difference between being in love and falling in love. When you fall in love, the person can do no wrong and people are able to behave in ways that their partner may not necessarily agree with in a normal state of mind. That's why it can take work to stay in love-the love is still there, but you can't expect to act however you please and for it to still be there. Love is like a fire, it sometimes needs to be tended to make sure it still burns.
Advice for a good marriage 5
Understand the principles of marriage karma-you get what you give, so if you go the extra yard for your partner and prove yourself to be kind, caring and considerate, the chances are they will act a lot more like that toward you too. Think about when you see couples that are really in love-it's rarely just one of them doing the kind things is it?
Hopefully this advice for a good marriage will help you out. Check out the links below for some great information on fixing your marriage for good.
Save My Marriage Course
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Marriage Counseling - Advice For A Happy Marriage
Some people may think that advice for a happy marriage can be a bit obvious, but if that's the case why are there so many unhappy marriages? It can be very hard to focus on the big picture when you are on the inside of a long term relationship, so hopefully these tips can rejuvenate your marriage.
Advice for a happy marriage 1-
Communicate. A marriage is nothing without communication-and that doesn't mean arguing and snapping at each other all the time-that's not real communication. Communication means switching the TV off for once and sitting down and talking over your day, or letting your partner know in a direct way when there is a problem. A marriage is rarely harmed by some good direct communication.
Advice for a happy marriage 2-
Admit when things are wrong. During a serious relationship it can be very easy to let yourself gloss over things and make believe that everything will be okay. In truth though, if you do this you aren't being true to yourself, your partner, or your marriage. Problems in marriages are like snowballs rolling down a hill-it's easier to stop them early. Again, the easiest way to do this when a problem does arise is by simple communication between you both.
Advice for a happy marriage 3-
Know the difference between falling in love and maintaining a loving relationship. Falling in love can often be like being intoxicated, the subject of your love can do no wrong and all different areas of your brain are impaired due to your preoccupation with them. Unfortunately, this state rarely lasts past the first few years of marriage, so in many cases it's necessary to work together at maintaining a healthy and loving relationship.
Advice for a happy marriage 4-
Put a little karmic theory into your marriage-you get what you give, so if you do everything you can to make your partner happy, the chances are they will step up their efforts to make you happy. The more effort you expend making your partner understand how much they mean to you, the more likely it is for them to reciprocate.
Advice for a happy marriage 5-
Learn that mending a relationship doesn't mean mending your partner. A marriage includes you both, and so any issues or situations always include both of you. You can't fix things by modifying the behaviour of one person, it has to be a team effort. People aren't like animals, and you shouldn't have to “marriage train” your partner into making you happy. It's not fair on them, and it's not fair on you.
This advice for a good marriage can really help in the tough times, so I hope it helps you if you need it. If you are looking for information on how to save your marriage though, I recommend you check out the save my marriage course.
Advice for a happy marriage 1-
Communicate. A marriage is nothing without communication-and that doesn't mean arguing and snapping at each other all the time-that's not real communication. Communication means switching the TV off for once and sitting down and talking over your day, or letting your partner know in a direct way when there is a problem. A marriage is rarely harmed by some good direct communication.
Advice for a happy marriage 2-
Admit when things are wrong. During a serious relationship it can be very easy to let yourself gloss over things and make believe that everything will be okay. In truth though, if you do this you aren't being true to yourself, your partner, or your marriage. Problems in marriages are like snowballs rolling down a hill-it's easier to stop them early. Again, the easiest way to do this when a problem does arise is by simple communication between you both.
Advice for a happy marriage 3-
Know the difference between falling in love and maintaining a loving relationship. Falling in love can often be like being intoxicated, the subject of your love can do no wrong and all different areas of your brain are impaired due to your preoccupation with them. Unfortunately, this state rarely lasts past the first few years of marriage, so in many cases it's necessary to work together at maintaining a healthy and loving relationship.
Advice for a happy marriage 4-
Put a little karmic theory into your marriage-you get what you give, so if you do everything you can to make your partner happy, the chances are they will step up their efforts to make you happy. The more effort you expend making your partner understand how much they mean to you, the more likely it is for them to reciprocate.
Advice for a happy marriage 5-
Learn that mending a relationship doesn't mean mending your partner. A marriage includes you both, and so any issues or situations always include both of you. You can't fix things by modifying the behaviour of one person, it has to be a team effort. People aren't like animals, and you shouldn't have to “marriage train” your partner into making you happy. It's not fair on them, and it's not fair on you.
This advice for a good marriage can really help in the tough times, so I hope it helps you if you need it. If you are looking for information on how to save your marriage though, I recommend you check out the save my marriage course.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
The Truth About Marriage And Divorce
When two people are in love, all that seems to occupy their thoughts is the desire to share the rest of their lives together. This romantic notions often lead to the altar, and eventually to having children. Marriage is traditionally considered a bond bound in heaven, a contract between two people who commit to stay together “...through thick and thin, through sickness and in health.”
Having their own family becomes the next greatest blessing that may even be seen as more joyous than the actual wedding. As a family, they share life together, with all it joys, sorrows, and everything in between. The enjoyment of each other's company becomes the hallmark of their family.
But due to unfortunate events, some marriages do not last forever. Some fairy tales do not end with “happily ever after.” It is a fact that many couples do have differences that later turn out to be irreconcilable. Rather than endlessly be stuck in marital discord, some feuding couples see separation, annulment, or divorce as the only solution to end their fractured relationship.
Many marriages end up in divorce because when two people get married, they do so without thinking of the enormous responsibilities and challenges that come with the marital contract. The sheer number of drive-in marriage booths in Las Vegas clearly point out the rather low regard people place in the institution of marriage. How would you like an Elvis impersonator officiate in exchanging your vows? Many people actually got married that way in Vegas. Britney Spears married her old friend from school, and after less than forty eight hours, she got divorced. Other reasons for the high number of separation and divorce include cases of adultery or concubinage.
Naturally, separation and divorce brings untold anxiety not only upon the marriage partners, but often, more so on the children. Having a divorce can be both unpredictable and scary, for completing this whole process means the destruction of the whole foundation of the family ---not to mention the staggering costs of alimony and child support. Anxiety is present in divorce discussions, since the couple are not in good terms. A marital crisis is a family tragedy that would require years of emotional healing, if only to regain the self-esteem and stability of every person in the family.
Perhaps even more that the two involved in the marriage, the ones who need emotional healing the most are the children. Children are the least prepared to face serious emotional and psychological trauma. Parents with divorced parents are almost stricken with anxiety. The stress is often seen in their poor performance in school and melancholic behavior at home. With low self-esteem, many teenagers from broken homes resort to drugs and join gangs to find a “substitute” home or family. In any case, emotional healing is crucial if children are to be prepared or rehabilitated from the emotional scars that were brought about by their parents' failed marriage. While keeping the marriage partnership intact may be the ideal, sometimes the avenue of divorce is taken by couples to prevent their children from becoming “collateral damage” in a situation where parents are constantly fighting.
So if you are looking to try and save your marriage, consider checking out the Save My Marriage course.
Good luck!
Having their own family becomes the next greatest blessing that may even be seen as more joyous than the actual wedding. As a family, they share life together, with all it joys, sorrows, and everything in between. The enjoyment of each other's company becomes the hallmark of their family.
But due to unfortunate events, some marriages do not last forever. Some fairy tales do not end with “happily ever after.” It is a fact that many couples do have differences that later turn out to be irreconcilable. Rather than endlessly be stuck in marital discord, some feuding couples see separation, annulment, or divorce as the only solution to end their fractured relationship.
Many marriages end up in divorce because when two people get married, they do so without thinking of the enormous responsibilities and challenges that come with the marital contract. The sheer number of drive-in marriage booths in Las Vegas clearly point out the rather low regard people place in the institution of marriage. How would you like an Elvis impersonator officiate in exchanging your vows? Many people actually got married that way in Vegas. Britney Spears married her old friend from school, and after less than forty eight hours, she got divorced. Other reasons for the high number of separation and divorce include cases of adultery or concubinage.
Naturally, separation and divorce brings untold anxiety not only upon the marriage partners, but often, more so on the children. Having a divorce can be both unpredictable and scary, for completing this whole process means the destruction of the whole foundation of the family ---not to mention the staggering costs of alimony and child support. Anxiety is present in divorce discussions, since the couple are not in good terms. A marital crisis is a family tragedy that would require years of emotional healing, if only to regain the self-esteem and stability of every person in the family.
Perhaps even more that the two involved in the marriage, the ones who need emotional healing the most are the children. Children are the least prepared to face serious emotional and psychological trauma. Parents with divorced parents are almost stricken with anxiety. The stress is often seen in their poor performance in school and melancholic behavior at home. With low self-esteem, many teenagers from broken homes resort to drugs and join gangs to find a “substitute” home or family. In any case, emotional healing is crucial if children are to be prepared or rehabilitated from the emotional scars that were brought about by their parents' failed marriage. While keeping the marriage partnership intact may be the ideal, sometimes the avenue of divorce is taken by couples to prevent their children from becoming “collateral damage” in a situation where parents are constantly fighting.
So if you are looking to try and save your marriage, consider checking out the Save My Marriage course.
Good luck!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Marriage Counseling - Self Help And Marriage
Love is the royal road to salvation. It doesn’t matter what race, religion or gender you are, love is available to everyone as a way of getting yourself up out of the problems in your life and finding the road to happiness. One thing that many people fail to realize, however, is that marriage does not equal love. You can get married as many times as you like but love doesn’t come out of marriage no matter what religion, church or spiritual organization you come from. In order for marriage to work, love has to be there first and it has to be something you can nourish and help to grow or it will surely dry up and fade away. Marriage needs love the way a flower needs water. Without love, you have nothing.
When we talk about love, what is it we are talking about exactly? What can we do to get this love and keep it? Self help in marriage is all about finding the way to feed your love and make it grow. Love isn’t something that just anyone can maintain although it is available as an option to everyone. Maintaining love is something that only a few select people are capable of and the percentage is surprisingly quite low. It is estimated by some of the greatest psychiatrists in the self help field that love is really an energy that can only be maintained by something close to two percent of the population! Do these numbers sound low to you? They sound low to a lot of people and yet, statistics often show that the feelings people identify as love often turn to discouragement and resentment after only a few short months and breakups are a dime a dozen in the game of love. If the numbers sound low, there is no need to feel discouraged. Although love may only be possible for a small percentage of the population, it doesn’t have to be you who loses out. Seeing the pitfalls ahead of time and developing a sober attitude toward the difficult challenges of love can be the very thing that saves you from the overwhelming statistics. This is especially true if you discover this valuable information early. Most people don’t learn this until after their first marriage is over. Even divorce doesn’t have to mean discouragement as people’s second marriages often tend to be more successful than their first. This is because some sobering lessons are learned the first time around that were just to difficult for most people to swallow in the beginning.
One of the most sobering truths about successful marriages that most people don’t want to admit is that money plays a much bigger role in the outcome of the marriage than was ever expected by newlyweds. The number one topic of argument among married couples is money. Money plays a role in everything we do, from our self esteem in our careers to the much needed vacations we take when the stress becomes too much. If the money is short, the tensions tend to rise and then the arguments begin. Married couples who have no money ordinarily need to be exceptional individuals with great inner strength and determination to make things work. This is already a great truth for those who already have a lot of money so it is even more true for those who don’t.
Another extremely sobering truth for married couples is that partnerships often survive because of a common project of goal that each partner has with the other. Oftentimes, couples bond for life because of their children who, after the initial joy of the marriage begins to fade, the children come along to bring a renewed sense of purpose into their lives and keep them together no matter what the problems are that they face. Couples who share a business together or similar careers can also find mutual respect and joy for each other. Even these commonalities, however, are often not enough to sustain the marriage in many cases. Many marriages have failed even though the two are from similar careers start with children early on.
All is not lost! The most common factor which is identified in successful marriages is an importance which is placed on spiritual growth and self help between two people. This spirituality that exists between two people is hard to define and may even come in the form of two people being driven in their careers. Underneath all of this, however, is a commitment to better themselves and the belief that love is a great power which is deserving of respect and reverence. The mystery of love and marriage may never be solved but it certainly benefits a person early on to know the stakes and to be aware of the many pitfalls. Only in this way can you make your chances much better for finding and fulfilling love in your life.
When we talk about love, what is it we are talking about exactly? What can we do to get this love and keep it? Self help in marriage is all about finding the way to feed your love and make it grow. Love isn’t something that just anyone can maintain although it is available as an option to everyone. Maintaining love is something that only a few select people are capable of and the percentage is surprisingly quite low. It is estimated by some of the greatest psychiatrists in the self help field that love is really an energy that can only be maintained by something close to two percent of the population! Do these numbers sound low to you? They sound low to a lot of people and yet, statistics often show that the feelings people identify as love often turn to discouragement and resentment after only a few short months and breakups are a dime a dozen in the game of love. If the numbers sound low, there is no need to feel discouraged. Although love may only be possible for a small percentage of the population, it doesn’t have to be you who loses out. Seeing the pitfalls ahead of time and developing a sober attitude toward the difficult challenges of love can be the very thing that saves you from the overwhelming statistics. This is especially true if you discover this valuable information early. Most people don’t learn this until after their first marriage is over. Even divorce doesn’t have to mean discouragement as people’s second marriages often tend to be more successful than their first. This is because some sobering lessons are learned the first time around that were just to difficult for most people to swallow in the beginning.
One of the most sobering truths about successful marriages that most people don’t want to admit is that money plays a much bigger role in the outcome of the marriage than was ever expected by newlyweds. The number one topic of argument among married couples is money. Money plays a role in everything we do, from our self esteem in our careers to the much needed vacations we take when the stress becomes too much. If the money is short, the tensions tend to rise and then the arguments begin. Married couples who have no money ordinarily need to be exceptional individuals with great inner strength and determination to make things work. This is already a great truth for those who already have a lot of money so it is even more true for those who don’t.
Another extremely sobering truth for married couples is that partnerships often survive because of a common project of goal that each partner has with the other. Oftentimes, couples bond for life because of their children who, after the initial joy of the marriage begins to fade, the children come along to bring a renewed sense of purpose into their lives and keep them together no matter what the problems are that they face. Couples who share a business together or similar careers can also find mutual respect and joy for each other. Even these commonalities, however, are often not enough to sustain the marriage in many cases. Many marriages have failed even though the two are from similar careers start with children early on.
All is not lost! The most common factor which is identified in successful marriages is an importance which is placed on spiritual growth and self help between two people. This spirituality that exists between two people is hard to define and may even come in the form of two people being driven in their careers. Underneath all of this, however, is a commitment to better themselves and the belief that love is a great power which is deserving of respect and reverence. The mystery of love and marriage may never be solved but it certainly benefits a person early on to know the stakes and to be aware of the many pitfalls. Only in this way can you make your chances much better for finding and fulfilling love in your life.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Astrology And Marriage
Astrology is the study of the positions and aspects of celestial bodies in the belief that they have an influence on the course of natural earthly occurrences and human affairs. Astrological predictions can be effectively used to predict many aspects of our lives such as business, romance, money, jobs etc. It can also be used to enhance overall success of individuals. The impact of the planetary motions on our day to day lives cannot be entirely ruled out. Millions of successful users of astrology will vouch for that.
For most normal human beings, marriage is a sacred institution. It means the union of two hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. It is often said that “marriages are made in heaven”. Well, could be very much true. But for all practical purposes, it is essential to find the right match for a man or a woman. Astrology can help do just that. Astrology plays a big part in finding the right matrimonial alliance. With the help of astrological predictions, the compatibility of a couple can be ascertained. This practice of matching horoscopes of would be brides and grooms are quite common among the Hindus in India. Marriages almost never happen here without horoscope matching. Astrologers also determine the ideal time and date of the marriage. Horoscopes of the prospective brides and grooms tell a lot about the past, present and future. Horoscope matching also guides the astrologer on the dates to be avoided. There are some periods in which influence of some planets like Saturn is quite strong. These periods may not be ideal for solemnization of a marriage. Marriages solemnized in these “bad patches” may not last long, or may be shaky. So, we can say astrology can be used to avoid future “break-ups” or divorces. Matrimonial matching by horoscopes requires a few important documents. First of all, the horoscopes of both the bride and the bridegroom are analyzed. Then some crucial information such as the date of birth, time of birth and place of birth, of both the man and the woman are collected. There are various permutations and combinations to be done to match the horoscopes. The influences of the motions of the planets at the time of birth are analyzed. This gives a rough idea to the astrologer whether the couple is compatible or not. It is not mandatory that the horoscopes of the bride and the groom need to match perfectly. Sometimes marriages are possible in the case minor differences between the boy and the girl. But in such cases, some corrective measures, as suggested by the astrologers have to be taken before the solemnization of the marriage.
It has been observed that the success rates of marriages are higher in cases where horoscope matching is done. Critics may have a different opinion regarding this. But they too cannot totally disprove the fact that Astrology is effective when it comes to marriages. The scientists may say that Astrology has no scientific basis. But that does not take the credit away from the practice of horoscope matching that is prevalent in India.
For most normal human beings, marriage is a sacred institution. It means the union of two hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. It is often said that “marriages are made in heaven”. Well, could be very much true. But for all practical purposes, it is essential to find the right match for a man or a woman. Astrology can help do just that. Astrology plays a big part in finding the right matrimonial alliance. With the help of astrological predictions, the compatibility of a couple can be ascertained. This practice of matching horoscopes of would be brides and grooms are quite common among the Hindus in India. Marriages almost never happen here without horoscope matching. Astrologers also determine the ideal time and date of the marriage. Horoscopes of the prospective brides and grooms tell a lot about the past, present and future. Horoscope matching also guides the astrologer on the dates to be avoided. There are some periods in which influence of some planets like Saturn is quite strong. These periods may not be ideal for solemnization of a marriage. Marriages solemnized in these “bad patches” may not last long, or may be shaky. So, we can say astrology can be used to avoid future “break-ups” or divorces. Matrimonial matching by horoscopes requires a few important documents. First of all, the horoscopes of both the bride and the bridegroom are analyzed. Then some crucial information such as the date of birth, time of birth and place of birth, of both the man and the woman are collected. There are various permutations and combinations to be done to match the horoscopes. The influences of the motions of the planets at the time of birth are analyzed. This gives a rough idea to the astrologer whether the couple is compatible or not. It is not mandatory that the horoscopes of the bride and the groom need to match perfectly. Sometimes marriages are possible in the case minor differences between the boy and the girl. But in such cases, some corrective measures, as suggested by the astrologers have to be taken before the solemnization of the marriage.
It has been observed that the success rates of marriages are higher in cases where horoscope matching is done. Critics may have a different opinion regarding this. But they too cannot totally disprove the fact that Astrology is effective when it comes to marriages. The scientists may say that Astrology has no scientific basis. But that does not take the credit away from the practice of horoscope matching that is prevalent in India.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Using Games In Marriage Counseling
Here is an interesting article that discusses how you can use games with marriage counseling.
Marriage is one of the most enjoyable but also one of the most painful experiences that people undergo. It carries with it the whiff of romance and eternal bliss, but sometimes you get a pack of thorns instead.
How Do You Ensure Your Marriage Is a Bed of Roses and not Thorns?
One of the major ingredients that a happy marriage needs is a willingness to compromise. But that is much more difficult than it seems. Everyone will agree that they need to compromise, but what happens when the issue is not a simple and tiny one? What then? Who Compromises first? I am sure you must have said to yourself at one point or another that enough is enough. You will no longer be the patsy. You are an independent person and your partner has crossed the line. Maybe.
Maybe your relationship has died and you are just beginning to realize it. Maybe your sentiments are more passionate than romantic. Maybe you no longer love her.
Stop being a fool!
What if I told you that the solution to your marital strife is not divorce. Am I mad?
Look around. How many divorces do you know? Plenty. Me too. But are they really happier off?
What is the first thing that a divorced person does? He or she goes out and starts looking for partners.
Isn't that strange? No. You say that everybody needs somebody to love. Maybe. I say that they had that somebody and they just let them go. So please stop being foolish.
Why not tackle your problems with a simple suggestion? A Game.
Games as a Peace Maker:
Playing brings out the child in us and causes us to express more than we normally would. We also release bottled up frustration and let go of mental thorns in our outbursts of joy and anguish as we win or lose. Games unite people together and therefore I suggest playing together but if you wish one can play against the other. The game turns into a battle but only this time, after its over, you will both feel refreshed from losing all that bottled up pain and anger.
Games to Pick From:
Try picking games that both of you like or at least somewhat active ones. You could even play hide and seek in the house or something else. If you do prefer playing cards, pick a game which does not go on for long and which requires some thinking like hearts, poker, bridge or rummy. Keep score and determine before hand that the loser has to do something for the winner. Chores is not a prize for the winner! If you lose you have to do something that that the other person wants for themselves like give them their favorite massage or cook them their favorite meal.
Conclusion:
Games are a welcome ambrosia to love and will excite you as a couple to disregard all your frustrations and anger and deal only with the good in marriage counseling. The anger and frustrations will not magically disappear, but now you can deal with them together calmly and in a good mood.
Marriage is one of the most enjoyable but also one of the most painful experiences that people undergo. It carries with it the whiff of romance and eternal bliss, but sometimes you get a pack of thorns instead.
How Do You Ensure Your Marriage Is a Bed of Roses and not Thorns?
One of the major ingredients that a happy marriage needs is a willingness to compromise. But that is much more difficult than it seems. Everyone will agree that they need to compromise, but what happens when the issue is not a simple and tiny one? What then? Who Compromises first? I am sure you must have said to yourself at one point or another that enough is enough. You will no longer be the patsy. You are an independent person and your partner has crossed the line. Maybe.
Maybe your relationship has died and you are just beginning to realize it. Maybe your sentiments are more passionate than romantic. Maybe you no longer love her.
Stop being a fool!
What if I told you that the solution to your marital strife is not divorce. Am I mad?
Look around. How many divorces do you know? Plenty. Me too. But are they really happier off?
What is the first thing that a divorced person does? He or she goes out and starts looking for partners.
Isn't that strange? No. You say that everybody needs somebody to love. Maybe. I say that they had that somebody and they just let them go. So please stop being foolish.
Why not tackle your problems with a simple suggestion? A Game.
Games as a Peace Maker:
Playing brings out the child in us and causes us to express more than we normally would. We also release bottled up frustration and let go of mental thorns in our outbursts of joy and anguish as we win or lose. Games unite people together and therefore I suggest playing together but if you wish one can play against the other. The game turns into a battle but only this time, after its over, you will both feel refreshed from losing all that bottled up pain and anger.
Games to Pick From:
Try picking games that both of you like or at least somewhat active ones. You could even play hide and seek in the house or something else. If you do prefer playing cards, pick a game which does not go on for long and which requires some thinking like hearts, poker, bridge or rummy. Keep score and determine before hand that the loser has to do something for the winner. Chores is not a prize for the winner! If you lose you have to do something that that the other person wants for themselves like give them their favorite massage or cook them their favorite meal.
Conclusion:
Games are a welcome ambrosia to love and will excite you as a couple to disregard all your frustrations and anger and deal only with the good in marriage counseling. The anger and frustrations will not magically disappear, but now you can deal with them together calmly and in a good mood.
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