So many relationships come in second, third or even worse to the many distractions in our daily lives. Unfortunately, these distractions are allowing too many marriages to end in divorce or a couple simply co-exists for years longing for happiness and fulfillment. It simply doesn’t have to be this way. To start, consider marriage counseling. But also, It’s time to take a look at what is really important and what will matter in the long run. Once your job or other commitments are gone, all you’ll have left is an empty marriage or an empty home to face every day. It’s time to stop making excuses and find the time to romance your spouse starting today.
Some women truly believe that some men aren’t genetically capable of being romantic. No matter how masculine a guy is, he is capable of romance! It is just another excuse for people to let their relationship slide. Romance leads to happy relationships while relationships without romance lead to loneliness or even worse. All men are and can show that they are romantic. So can all women.
When you envision romance, you probably think about a great deal of materialistic exchanging happening between you and your spouse. Romance isn’t about what is tangible or how much you spent. Romance is about the thought and intention behind every gesture you make. As long as the thought is behind your efforts, you will have romance. Improving your relationship with better companionship, sex and attention is very romantic alone!
If you’ve decided to be romantic, you have one chance to forget about your commitment. Just one chance and then that’s it. From then on it’s an excuse- a bad one at that- and you will do more damage to your relationship than you thought possible from neglecting your spouse. If you are constantly forgetting, you are displaying behavior that can only be interpreted as your spouse simply isn’t that important to you.
Procrastination is the archenemy of romance. While your career is and should be important, your spouse should be more important. Imagine sitting on your front porch in your golden years while looking back at everything you’ve accomplished as well as any regrets you might have. Do you really thing you’ll be wishing you had spent more time working?
For the belligerent spouses out there, its most likely crossed you mind that you don’t have to be romantic because you shouldn’t have to prove your love to your spouse. Being married and bringing romance into your relationship isn’t about proving anything. Romance with your spouse is about showing how much you appreciate and love him or her.
Don’t drag your heels when it comes to being romantic. Putting it off can become just as bad as never ever doing it at all and the habit is quite easy to fall into. Consider the fact that you don’t know how long you and your spouse will be lucky enough to have each other. Whether he or she will become deceased or they leave your procrastinating butt, you simply don’t have the time to put off making your marriage and incredibly loving and romantic partnership. So consider marriage counseling or at least some of these tips. Good luck!
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Having Fun In Your Relationship
One of the best ways to be successful in any relationship is to have fun! Sometimes it might feel a little bit awkward, but once you remember how good it feels to act like a kid, sweet, silly and just plain carefree, you will find you prefer it to your adult life! Make sure you revisit and care for your ‘inner child’. This is the part of you that can unlock all of your creativity, spontaneity, feeling of wonder and happiness. Take this part of you and make it a part of your relationship. While there are always times when you have to be an adult, there are also times when it is absolutely fine to be wonderfully carefree and joyful!
It’s hard to find anyone who doesn’t enjoy an Oreo cookie. Take an Oreo (or generic version of one), scratch the top of the cookie until smooth and then scratch a heart and your initials into the smooth surface. You can also make your own cookies and create personal messages. Another version is to make your own cupcakes and frost them with special messages in red icing. You can also give your spouse a true treat and track down a box of his or her favorite Girl Scout cookie.
Candy bars are always a special treat and you can use them as creative ways to send your spouse special messages. Hershey’s Kisses are a favorite and many people already give them with their own special messages. You can also use other suggestive candy names like “Life Saver”, “Mounds”, “Fire Balls” and more. Instead of candy, you can fill the candy jar with love messages. On the other hand, you can fill the mailbox with candy.
Once you’ve satisfied your sweet tooth, take your spouse out to a large field, lie down and watch the clouds form different shapes. Not only are you out doing something fun together, but you are also far away from any distractions you might have at home. By the way if you didn’t turn off your cell phone, you didn’t have a truly romantic experience.
Did you know that over seventy five percent of women like stuffed animals and even more men enjoy electronic gadgets or power tools? These make perfectly fun gifts for both of you to be able to give to each other. An even better way to go about being a ‘kid’ with him or her is to find out what their favorite childhood item was and find it for them. It might mean a call to his or her parents or a visit to Ebay, but find it and let him or her know that every part of their life is important to you.
Comics are another wonderfully creative way to share your funny sense of humor and playful side with your spouse. Start combing the newspaper for funny comic strips and start to collect them. Tape them to the rearview mirror, the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator and even the back of the toilet seat. After you replace each comic strip, you can place the older ones in a scrapbook or photo album so that you enjoy them over and over again.
It’s hard to find anyone who doesn’t enjoy an Oreo cookie. Take an Oreo (or generic version of one), scratch the top of the cookie until smooth and then scratch a heart and your initials into the smooth surface. You can also make your own cookies and create personal messages. Another version is to make your own cupcakes and frost them with special messages in red icing. You can also give your spouse a true treat and track down a box of his or her favorite Girl Scout cookie.
Candy bars are always a special treat and you can use them as creative ways to send your spouse special messages. Hershey’s Kisses are a favorite and many people already give them with their own special messages. You can also use other suggestive candy names like “Life Saver”, “Mounds”, “Fire Balls” and more. Instead of candy, you can fill the candy jar with love messages. On the other hand, you can fill the mailbox with candy.
Once you’ve satisfied your sweet tooth, take your spouse out to a large field, lie down and watch the clouds form different shapes. Not only are you out doing something fun together, but you are also far away from any distractions you might have at home. By the way if you didn’t turn off your cell phone, you didn’t have a truly romantic experience.
Did you know that over seventy five percent of women like stuffed animals and even more men enjoy electronic gadgets or power tools? These make perfectly fun gifts for both of you to be able to give to each other. An even better way to go about being a ‘kid’ with him or her is to find out what their favorite childhood item was and find it for them. It might mean a call to his or her parents or a visit to Ebay, but find it and let him or her know that every part of their life is important to you.
Comics are another wonderfully creative way to share your funny sense of humor and playful side with your spouse. Start combing the newspaper for funny comic strips and start to collect them. Tape them to the rearview mirror, the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator and even the back of the toilet seat. After you replace each comic strip, you can place the older ones in a scrapbook or photo album so that you enjoy them over and over again.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Is Marriage Counseling Needed? Evaluate Your Relationship
Everyone dreaded report card day in school and if you are dreading making your own relationship report card, then you need to buckle down and study! When you rank all of the aspects of your relationship between you and your spouse, you need to score in the high nineties to achieve an A+. Consider creating a ‘relationship report card’ with your spouse and watch the awakening you will both experience. When you try to complete your relationship report card, it should not turn into a ‘blame game’. It should open the lines of communication and offer some invaluable insight into your relationship as to where you need changes and improvements. That way, you will have an idea if you should seek marriage counseling.
When you consider how you want to grade your partner and yourself, it is a good idea to have some pre-set guidelines as to what each grade means. For example, an ‘A’ might mean that your partner isn’t perfect, but obviously excelling. It could also mean that your partner is loving, attentive, enthusiastic and satisfying. A ‘B’ could stand for a partner who is always trying, better than most and consistently works on improvement. A ‘C’ might mean average or acceptable. ‘C’s’ always indicate plenty of room for improvement. ‘D’s’ and ‘F’s’ should be reserved for unhappy situations or even hopeless ones. ‘D’s’ indicate never hopeless while ‘F’s’ require more than just a relationship evaluation. If you find that you and your spouse have areas with a ‘D’ or an ‘F’, you need to focus on why you are giving or receiving those grades and commit to some kind of action in order to change and improve that grade such as marriage counseling. It might involve a commitment on both spouses, but if both are willing to work at it the grade is already moving higher.
When you begin working on your relationship report card, it should be graded the same way your school papers were graded with a number grade (ex. 80%, 50%, 95% and so on). Grade both your partner and yourself in areas like affection, ability to resolve conflict, attitude, commitment, communication skills, consideration level, thinking as a ‘couple’, creativity, sensitivity, flexibility, generosity, friendship and gift giving skills. Once you’ve completed that list, continue to evaluate your honesty levels, listening skills, household management skills, patience, love making, romance abilities and practice, playfulness, self-esteem, self-awareness, sense of humor, empathy, tolerance and spontaneity. If you feel that there are any other areas relevant to your particular relationship, feel free to add and evaluate at your discretion.
When you and your spouse are grading each other, be sure to both participate in grading. You can work out your own particulars, but make sure you both have a say in both of your grades. Compare and talk about your grades and why your partner believes you deserve a particular grade (this includes the good grades, too!). You’ll be surprised at how your partner sees your relationship and you’ll have invaluable insight into how he or she sees your role in the relationship. Just because you may not have earned an A+ in one area doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate. Pat yourself (and your partner) on the back for anything over a ‘B’ and talk about ways you can improve on any ‘C’s’ and ‘D’s’ or consider marriage counseling.
Good luck!
When you consider how you want to grade your partner and yourself, it is a good idea to have some pre-set guidelines as to what each grade means. For example, an ‘A’ might mean that your partner isn’t perfect, but obviously excelling. It could also mean that your partner is loving, attentive, enthusiastic and satisfying. A ‘B’ could stand for a partner who is always trying, better than most and consistently works on improvement. A ‘C’ might mean average or acceptable. ‘C’s’ always indicate plenty of room for improvement. ‘D’s’ and ‘F’s’ should be reserved for unhappy situations or even hopeless ones. ‘D’s’ indicate never hopeless while ‘F’s’ require more than just a relationship evaluation. If you find that you and your spouse have areas with a ‘D’ or an ‘F’, you need to focus on why you are giving or receiving those grades and commit to some kind of action in order to change and improve that grade such as marriage counseling. It might involve a commitment on both spouses, but if both are willing to work at it the grade is already moving higher.
When you begin working on your relationship report card, it should be graded the same way your school papers were graded with a number grade (ex. 80%, 50%, 95% and so on). Grade both your partner and yourself in areas like affection, ability to resolve conflict, attitude, commitment, communication skills, consideration level, thinking as a ‘couple’, creativity, sensitivity, flexibility, generosity, friendship and gift giving skills. Once you’ve completed that list, continue to evaluate your honesty levels, listening skills, household management skills, patience, love making, romance abilities and practice, playfulness, self-esteem, self-awareness, sense of humor, empathy, tolerance and spontaneity. If you feel that there are any other areas relevant to your particular relationship, feel free to add and evaluate at your discretion.
When you and your spouse are grading each other, be sure to both participate in grading. You can work out your own particulars, but make sure you both have a say in both of your grades. Compare and talk about your grades and why your partner believes you deserve a particular grade (this includes the good grades, too!). You’ll be surprised at how your partner sees your relationship and you’ll have invaluable insight into how he or she sees your role in the relationship. Just because you may not have earned an A+ in one area doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate. Pat yourself (and your partner) on the back for anything over a ‘B’ and talk about ways you can improve on any ‘C’s’ and ‘D’s’ or consider marriage counseling.
Good luck!
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