Hey everyone! For this post, I decided to talk about a guide I came across. It is called "Break Free From The Affair". One of my readers e-mailed me and asked if I recommend it or not. To be honest, I had never looked tried this guide. I decided though that I will go ahead and buy this guide and give a full review on it.
So first off, what is Break Free From The Affair? It is pretty self-explanatory. It is a guide offering information on how one can break free from an affair. Having a spouse or a mate cheat on you can be very difficult. So many thoughts and emotions run through your mind, and it's hard to break free from that vicious cycle. That is where a guide like Break Free From The Affair was created for.
So, is the guide any good? I spent a few hours tonight looking through it and I am highly impressed by this. There is a lot of good information and a lot of different topics are covered. For instance, will time heal things? Can the marriage be saved? Is it ok to spy on your partner? etc. It is quite a comprehensive set of information.
I should note, not only is there the e-book itself, but there is also a lot of other information that comes with this package including e-books covering some of the other topics related to Affairs and there are even audio coaching sessions. The coaching sessions itself total at least 5 hours. While I was able to look at the various guides, I wasn't able to listen to every single one of the coaching sessions. But from what I heard, they sounded really good.
I must say, looking at all of this information, I really wish I had this 3 years ago. As some of you may know, I was cheated on by the person that I thought was my soulmate. It took a long time to get over. I noticed a lot of what I saw in this guide I didn't learn for myself until months and months after the breakup. So like I said, it would have been nice to know about this guide back then.
In conclusion, I highly recommend all my readers check out Break Free From The Affair. If you have recently been cheated on, this guide is a must-have in my opinion. I should also note, there is a money-back guarantee. So if you find that it doesn't help, you will be able to get your money back. Anyway, good luck! Remember, you have the strength to get over this affair :)
Link:
Official Website of Break Free From The Affair
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Marriage Counseling - Using The Waiter Rule
Working my way through college, I waited tables and tended bar. Though I have several degrees with an emphasis on human behavior and psychology, I swear I learned more about people from slinging hash and pouring drinks. I can remember accidentally spilling a few drops of an ice cream drink on a lady’s skirt and being totally humiliated as she screamed at me in the restaurant. I also recall a very kind man who didn’t get upset even though there were repeated problems with his order.
Rudeness to service staff reveals information about a person’s character reported in a recent article in USA Today. Office Depot CEO Steve Odland, who also waited tables as a teenager, states, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats a waiter.” It seems that he is not the only CEO to discover the “Waiter Rule.”
The Waiter Rule has been identified by many executives, including Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson. There is one rule that Swanson says never fails: “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person.” Swanson first identified this phenomenon when he was eating with a man who became irate to a waiter because the restaurant did not stock a particular wine.
“Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with,” Swanson writes. “Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”
The Waiter Rule has also been noticed on the dating scene. A November survey of
2,500 by It’s Just Lunch, a dating service for professionals, found that being rude to waiters ranks No. 1 as the worst in dining etiquette. Some waiters report that women will actually pull them aside to see how much their dates tipped to obtain insight into his use of money and other tendencies.
The Waiter Rule can also apply to how people treat those in other service roles like bellmen, hotel maids, clerks and secretaries according to USA Today. This can be more indicative of someone’s character than all the charm you experience in the relationship.
Using the Waiter Rule can be an accurate predictor of character because it isn’t easily learned or unlearned. It is more likely a person’s true colors and speaks to how they were raised and their value system. How a potential partner treats a waiter may be how they will treat you.
Some behaviors that indicate a problem:
*Playing the power card. Comments like “I could buy this place,” or “Do you know who I am?” reveal more about the diner’s character than his wealth or power. It is unlikely that he will be compassionate to you if he is consumed with power and control.
*Having a short fuse. This person may have an ego that is out of control. It is a way of saying that she is better than the wait staff; she is special. These people tend not to be collaborative in relationships.
*Demanding about every detail. You may be looking at a micro-manager who consistently sends the message that your efforts are not good enough. He may be critical and demeaning rather than supportive and encouraging.
*Speaking in a condescending manner. The message here is clear; she thinks she is better than those in subordinate positions. She may have a need to feel important by putting others down.
*Making a public scene. If he embarrasses you in the restaurant, he will embarrass you at home. At best he has poor manners, at worst, his judgment is faulty. Either way, he will not make a good partner.
*Easily turning on and off the charm. These folks have situational values, which may also indicate situational ethics. People with firm character adhere to their value system regardless of the circumstances. Avoid these people like the plague.
*Constantly looking around the room. Rather than being focused on the table conversation, he is distracted and not engaged. He may be looking to see who else is there or whether he is being noticed. Regardless, he will have the same behavior with you in other settings.
*Poor tipper. She may justify leaving a poor tip with various complaints about the service or the waiter. Anyone who has ever worked in a service industry knows that it is very hard work with a low base pay. If the service is adequate, a 15% tip is customary. A twenty percent or more gratitude is standard for exceptional service.
Try using the Waiter Rule whether you are evaluating a partner in a relationship. You may save yourself a lot of future problems by dining out.
Rudeness to service staff reveals information about a person’s character reported in a recent article in USA Today. Office Depot CEO Steve Odland, who also waited tables as a teenager, states, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats a waiter.” It seems that he is not the only CEO to discover the “Waiter Rule.”
The Waiter Rule has been identified by many executives, including Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson. There is one rule that Swanson says never fails: “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person.” Swanson first identified this phenomenon when he was eating with a man who became irate to a waiter because the restaurant did not stock a particular wine.
“Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with,” Swanson writes. “Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”
The Waiter Rule has also been noticed on the dating scene. A November survey of
2,500 by It’s Just Lunch, a dating service for professionals, found that being rude to waiters ranks No. 1 as the worst in dining etiquette. Some waiters report that women will actually pull them aside to see how much their dates tipped to obtain insight into his use of money and other tendencies.
The Waiter Rule can also apply to how people treat those in other service roles like bellmen, hotel maids, clerks and secretaries according to USA Today. This can be more indicative of someone’s character than all the charm you experience in the relationship.
Using the Waiter Rule can be an accurate predictor of character because it isn’t easily learned or unlearned. It is more likely a person’s true colors and speaks to how they were raised and their value system. How a potential partner treats a waiter may be how they will treat you.
Some behaviors that indicate a problem:
*Playing the power card. Comments like “I could buy this place,” or “Do you know who I am?” reveal more about the diner’s character than his wealth or power. It is unlikely that he will be compassionate to you if he is consumed with power and control.
*Having a short fuse. This person may have an ego that is out of control. It is a way of saying that she is better than the wait staff; she is special. These people tend not to be collaborative in relationships.
*Demanding about every detail. You may be looking at a micro-manager who consistently sends the message that your efforts are not good enough. He may be critical and demeaning rather than supportive and encouraging.
*Speaking in a condescending manner. The message here is clear; she thinks she is better than those in subordinate positions. She may have a need to feel important by putting others down.
*Making a public scene. If he embarrasses you in the restaurant, he will embarrass you at home. At best he has poor manners, at worst, his judgment is faulty. Either way, he will not make a good partner.
*Easily turning on and off the charm. These folks have situational values, which may also indicate situational ethics. People with firm character adhere to their value system regardless of the circumstances. Avoid these people like the plague.
*Constantly looking around the room. Rather than being focused on the table conversation, he is distracted and not engaged. He may be looking to see who else is there or whether he is being noticed. Regardless, he will have the same behavior with you in other settings.
*Poor tipper. She may justify leaving a poor tip with various complaints about the service or the waiter. Anyone who has ever worked in a service industry knows that it is very hard work with a low base pay. If the service is adequate, a 15% tip is customary. A twenty percent or more gratitude is standard for exceptional service.
Try using the Waiter Rule whether you are evaluating a partner in a relationship. You may save yourself a lot of future problems by dining out.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Marriage Counseling, When To Save Your Marriage?
Happiness and fulfillment are two great components of a successful marriage. The absence of which, along with other things, may eventually cause marital disasters.
The most basic principle that marriage counseling teaches is to save an existing relationship from total destruction and to lead both of the couple back to the path of marital bliss. Though marriage counseling may work for some, the truth remains to be the truth- there are marriages that may never be saved.
For both conditions, there are corresponding reasons and factors. Many of these will be discussed in the succeeding paragraphs. But the bottom line for both factors is that the willingness of both parties to restore the broken relationship is actually the ultimate driving factor.
There are several reasons why couples seek marriage counseling. This is but natural, for there are endless possibilities why how people create conflicts in their marriages. Though it is widely accepted that all marriages are bombarded with difficulties some time in their lives, it is sad to note that many don't seem to override them. And most drop into the pitfall of divorce.
The most natural conditions by which marriage counseling is often sought are when couples feel frustration, extreme sadness and severe hurt. These are frequently not new between the couples and had been growing around for years. Unfortunately, the only time that people enter marriage counseling is when the relationship is already on the edge of breaking down. This is reason enough why young couples or those that are yet starting to sense fraction in their relationship have the greater chance of fixing the marriage.
It is not wrong to aspire for happiness. But it is not often that way. To get rid of further troubles, it is wise to accept this reality and to work towards achieving happiness on a more sensible and realistic approach. Marriage demands hard work. It obliges the couple to commit themselves to the consequences of their relationship. They often need to suspend their egos and to drop down the claim for who is right to get around the issues that may send them shouting over dinners. Agreeing to drop the "who is right" thing is a crucial part of both the marriage and marriage counseling. Without this, everything may all be in vain.
It may have been observed that throughout this article, saving the marriage is only the central discussion. But how about for those couples who insist for divorce? Marriage counseling may also answer for that. However, it may be a much longer process, especially when children are at stake. If the marital relationship may not be saved, then the best solution to this is for the couples to transform into friends or willing co-parents towards the growth of their children. This way, pain may be lessened while contributing to a much constructive process.
During the stage of dissolution, extreme pain and other mixes of emotions may be felt. This state may be further aggravated by the obvious emotional and physical separation. For the majority of cases, this state may come to the level of mourning and distress. Marriage counseling may be of best help during this condition as it may help to bring out unexpressed emotions between the couples.
Once the signs of marriage destruction have made themselves transparent for the couples, it is best to seek marriage counseling in the earliest possible time. Or you might be too late to save the relationship.
For my recommendation on how to save your marriage, I recommend the save my marriage course. It's like marriage counseling, but not as expensive.
The most basic principle that marriage counseling teaches is to save an existing relationship from total destruction and to lead both of the couple back to the path of marital bliss. Though marriage counseling may work for some, the truth remains to be the truth- there are marriages that may never be saved.
For both conditions, there are corresponding reasons and factors. Many of these will be discussed in the succeeding paragraphs. But the bottom line for both factors is that the willingness of both parties to restore the broken relationship is actually the ultimate driving factor.
There are several reasons why couples seek marriage counseling. This is but natural, for there are endless possibilities why how people create conflicts in their marriages. Though it is widely accepted that all marriages are bombarded with difficulties some time in their lives, it is sad to note that many don't seem to override them. And most drop into the pitfall of divorce.
The most natural conditions by which marriage counseling is often sought are when couples feel frustration, extreme sadness and severe hurt. These are frequently not new between the couples and had been growing around for years. Unfortunately, the only time that people enter marriage counseling is when the relationship is already on the edge of breaking down. This is reason enough why young couples or those that are yet starting to sense fraction in their relationship have the greater chance of fixing the marriage.
It is not wrong to aspire for happiness. But it is not often that way. To get rid of further troubles, it is wise to accept this reality and to work towards achieving happiness on a more sensible and realistic approach. Marriage demands hard work. It obliges the couple to commit themselves to the consequences of their relationship. They often need to suspend their egos and to drop down the claim for who is right to get around the issues that may send them shouting over dinners. Agreeing to drop the "who is right" thing is a crucial part of both the marriage and marriage counseling. Without this, everything may all be in vain.
It may have been observed that throughout this article, saving the marriage is only the central discussion. But how about for those couples who insist for divorce? Marriage counseling may also answer for that. However, it may be a much longer process, especially when children are at stake. If the marital relationship may not be saved, then the best solution to this is for the couples to transform into friends or willing co-parents towards the growth of their children. This way, pain may be lessened while contributing to a much constructive process.
During the stage of dissolution, extreme pain and other mixes of emotions may be felt. This state may be further aggravated by the obvious emotional and physical separation. For the majority of cases, this state may come to the level of mourning and distress. Marriage counseling may be of best help during this condition as it may help to bring out unexpressed emotions between the couples.
Once the signs of marriage destruction have made themselves transparent for the couples, it is best to seek marriage counseling in the earliest possible time. Or you might be too late to save the relationship.
For my recommendation on how to save your marriage, I recommend the save my marriage course. It's like marriage counseling, but not as expensive.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Marriage Counseling - Urgency Addiction
Lori Zimmermann of Santa Barbara, California, worked for a large international retail organization for eight years. She entered corporate America with the intent to stay and make a career. But after eight years, she called it quits and started freelancing to have more control over her work hours and her life.
“I never felt finished at work,” she explains. “While I could maintain the status quo, I really couldn’t make it better. We worked up to 60 hours a week just to get the job done. It wasn’t directly said you had to do it, but everyone else was working that hard, so you just felt it was expected.”
She walked away from a guaranteed salary, a benefit structure, and stock options to have flexibility and control over her time. “Although it has certainly made things tougher financially, I’ve never regretted my decision,” she states.
She is not alone. More and more workers are questioning their role in corporate American and it’s “ASAPs” climate. Today’s corporate culture is “hooked” on urgency where everything is a priority, needing to be done yesterday. This “urgency addiction” has become a way of life, a workaholic culture. Company routine revolves around a series of emergency “fires” that need extinguishing immediately. Employees run from project to project with caffeine energy and buckets of sand. Sprinkling a little sand here, a little there, they feel exhausted at the end of the day, yet cannot point to any specific accomplishment or finished project.
Urgency addiction permeates today’s organizations and affects all who work there. It produces an adrenaline rush of feeling important, but soon leads to exhaustion and burn out. Those who attempt to fight it by asking, “But, which one is the priority?” are told, “Everything is a priority.” Employees dance as fast as they can but fall increasingly behind.
Workers try to compensate by taking work home, coming in early, or sacrificing time on weekends to improve productivity with no interruptions. This additional effort is usually rewarded with yet another project, another area of responsibility, and more simmering fires to extinguish.
By accepting bonuses, promotions, stock options, and buy-outs, boomers are trapped with “golden handcuffs” that make it difficult to leave, hard to stay, and impossible to say “no.” Money becomes the goal rather than a means to an end. Workers find that each rung of the success ladder only takes them to a higher level of urgency addiction. As one executive explained, “I’m at the top, but I don’t like the view.”
Some techniques to fight urgency addiction in your life:
*Review your calendar at the beginning of the week. Highlight the priorities and goals for each day. This will help you to narrow your focus. While unexpected emergencies may occur, you will be much less likely to be in a reactive mode if you take time to plan.
*Avoid hop-scotching. Resist hopping from one project to another without finishing what you start. You know what I mean; you start cleaning up a pile on your desk and then decide to create a file system. When you go to look in the files, you realize they have to be thinned, and so on. Finish one thing before you move on to something else.
*Do big projects first. You may have a tendency to gravitate to the projects or work that is easy to do. These often tend to be small projects that are “no-brainers.” Possibly you kid yourself that if you just clean up these small projects, you can give your full attention to the big things. The problem is never getting around to the large projects. So start with the ones you really don’t want to do and the small ones will get done along the way.
*Have a sign over your desk that reads:
Lack of planning on your part…
is not necessarily an emergency for me.
“I never felt finished at work,” she explains. “While I could maintain the status quo, I really couldn’t make it better. We worked up to 60 hours a week just to get the job done. It wasn’t directly said you had to do it, but everyone else was working that hard, so you just felt it was expected.”
She walked away from a guaranteed salary, a benefit structure, and stock options to have flexibility and control over her time. “Although it has certainly made things tougher financially, I’ve never regretted my decision,” she states.
She is not alone. More and more workers are questioning their role in corporate American and it’s “ASAPs” climate. Today’s corporate culture is “hooked” on urgency where everything is a priority, needing to be done yesterday. This “urgency addiction” has become a way of life, a workaholic culture. Company routine revolves around a series of emergency “fires” that need extinguishing immediately. Employees run from project to project with caffeine energy and buckets of sand. Sprinkling a little sand here, a little there, they feel exhausted at the end of the day, yet cannot point to any specific accomplishment or finished project.
Urgency addiction permeates today’s organizations and affects all who work there. It produces an adrenaline rush of feeling important, but soon leads to exhaustion and burn out. Those who attempt to fight it by asking, “But, which one is the priority?” are told, “Everything is a priority.” Employees dance as fast as they can but fall increasingly behind.
Workers try to compensate by taking work home, coming in early, or sacrificing time on weekends to improve productivity with no interruptions. This additional effort is usually rewarded with yet another project, another area of responsibility, and more simmering fires to extinguish.
By accepting bonuses, promotions, stock options, and buy-outs, boomers are trapped with “golden handcuffs” that make it difficult to leave, hard to stay, and impossible to say “no.” Money becomes the goal rather than a means to an end. Workers find that each rung of the success ladder only takes them to a higher level of urgency addiction. As one executive explained, “I’m at the top, but I don’t like the view.”
Some techniques to fight urgency addiction in your life:
*Review your calendar at the beginning of the week. Highlight the priorities and goals for each day. This will help you to narrow your focus. While unexpected emergencies may occur, you will be much less likely to be in a reactive mode if you take time to plan.
*Avoid hop-scotching. Resist hopping from one project to another without finishing what you start. You know what I mean; you start cleaning up a pile on your desk and then decide to create a file system. When you go to look in the files, you realize they have to be thinned, and so on. Finish one thing before you move on to something else.
*Do big projects first. You may have a tendency to gravitate to the projects or work that is easy to do. These often tend to be small projects that are “no-brainers.” Possibly you kid yourself that if you just clean up these small projects, you can give your full attention to the big things. The problem is never getting around to the large projects. So start with the ones you really don’t want to do and the small ones will get done along the way.
*Have a sign over your desk that reads:
Lack of planning on your part…
is not necessarily an emergency for me.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Marriage Counseling - Seven Tips To Live Longer
We have all heard the stories; the executive retires in Spring and dies before the first Winter snowfall. While some may conclude that the former exec just couldn’t adjust to retirement, it is more likely that they burned themselves out working. That is, years of shortchanging their own personal well-being finally caught up with them.
It is so easy to get trapped on the treadmill of demanding schedules and too many priorities using caffeinated energy to get things done. It is often self-care that gets put on the shelf first because there just isn’t time to exercise and eat right. Yet, there is increasing research that even small lifestyle changes can be a major factor in a long healthy life.
Some suggestions:
• Keep a long fuse. Scientists use to believe that “Type A’s,” those people driven by ambition, were most at risk for heart attacks. But recent research demonstrates that it is not striving for goals that have people dropping like flies; it is being hostile, angry and cynical. A hostile disposition is also dangerous once cardiovascular disease sets in. Dr. Murray Mittleman, a cardiovascular epidemiologist at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, interviewed 1623 men and women who had heart attacks. He found that the risk of having an attack was twice as great in those that were angry in the two hours before the incident.
• Lighten up. There is increasing evidence linking depression to heart disease. Johns Hopkins researchers interviewed 1551 people in the early 1980’s who were free of heart disease. They followed up fourteen years later and found that those who reported a history of a major depression were four times as likely to have a heart attack as those not depressed.
• Get off the couch. Not only for weight control, better circulation, reduced risk of diabetes, but exercise actually works as an anti-depressant. In a recent study at Duke University, 60 % of clinically depressed people who took a brisk 30-minute walk at least three times per week were no longer depressed after 16 weeks. Increasingly psychiatrists are finding that exercise can often work as well as anti-depressants for the mildly depressed individual.
• Flatten the middle. It’s been more than 50 years since French scientist Jean Vague noted that people with a lot of upper-body fat (those that look like apples, rather than pears), often developed heart disease, diabetes and other ailments. Since the introduction of CT and MRI scans, Drs. have discovered that a visceral fat, located within the abdomen was strongly linked to these diseases. The good news is that this type of fat also burns off the fastest. This is why even a small reduction in weight can reverse the deadly factors of heart disease.
• Limit bad habits. Heavy drinking, smoking, overeating, and overcaffeinating are major factors in the development of heart disease and other problems. It has been found that both drinking and smoking tend to increase the abdominal fat that puts folks at risk for heart disease. Excessive caffeine increased blood pressure to dangerous levels for people experiencing job stress.
• Fire up your metabolism. New research shows that a healthy metabolic profile counts far more than cardiovascular fitness or weight alone. In a Japanese study, a group of men were put on a low-intensity exercise program for one year. Although they did not lose weight, nor improve their cardiovascular fitness, their metabolic health improved dramatically (measured by how well the body utilizes insulin). States Glenn A. Glaesser of the University of Virginia, “Metabolic fitness is one of the best safeguards against heart disease, stroke and diabetes.”
• Approach sleep like Goldilocks—Just right. In a recent study of 72,000 nurses published in the January Archives of Internal Medicine, researchers found that getting too little sleep—or too much—may raise the risk of developing heart disease. Women who averaged five hours or less of sleep a night were 39% more likely to develop heart disease than those that got eight hours. And nine or more hours of shuteye was associated with a 37% higher risk of heart disease.
Your best investment for the future is in your health today.
It is so easy to get trapped on the treadmill of demanding schedules and too many priorities using caffeinated energy to get things done. It is often self-care that gets put on the shelf first because there just isn’t time to exercise and eat right. Yet, there is increasing research that even small lifestyle changes can be a major factor in a long healthy life.
Some suggestions:
• Keep a long fuse. Scientists use to believe that “Type A’s,” those people driven by ambition, were most at risk for heart attacks. But recent research demonstrates that it is not striving for goals that have people dropping like flies; it is being hostile, angry and cynical. A hostile disposition is also dangerous once cardiovascular disease sets in. Dr. Murray Mittleman, a cardiovascular epidemiologist at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, interviewed 1623 men and women who had heart attacks. He found that the risk of having an attack was twice as great in those that were angry in the two hours before the incident.
• Lighten up. There is increasing evidence linking depression to heart disease. Johns Hopkins researchers interviewed 1551 people in the early 1980’s who were free of heart disease. They followed up fourteen years later and found that those who reported a history of a major depression were four times as likely to have a heart attack as those not depressed.
• Get off the couch. Not only for weight control, better circulation, reduced risk of diabetes, but exercise actually works as an anti-depressant. In a recent study at Duke University, 60 % of clinically depressed people who took a brisk 30-minute walk at least three times per week were no longer depressed after 16 weeks. Increasingly psychiatrists are finding that exercise can often work as well as anti-depressants for the mildly depressed individual.
• Flatten the middle. It’s been more than 50 years since French scientist Jean Vague noted that people with a lot of upper-body fat (those that look like apples, rather than pears), often developed heart disease, diabetes and other ailments. Since the introduction of CT and MRI scans, Drs. have discovered that a visceral fat, located within the abdomen was strongly linked to these diseases. The good news is that this type of fat also burns off the fastest. This is why even a small reduction in weight can reverse the deadly factors of heart disease.
• Limit bad habits. Heavy drinking, smoking, overeating, and overcaffeinating are major factors in the development of heart disease and other problems. It has been found that both drinking and smoking tend to increase the abdominal fat that puts folks at risk for heart disease. Excessive caffeine increased blood pressure to dangerous levels for people experiencing job stress.
• Fire up your metabolism. New research shows that a healthy metabolic profile counts far more than cardiovascular fitness or weight alone. In a Japanese study, a group of men were put on a low-intensity exercise program for one year. Although they did not lose weight, nor improve their cardiovascular fitness, their metabolic health improved dramatically (measured by how well the body utilizes insulin). States Glenn A. Glaesser of the University of Virginia, “Metabolic fitness is one of the best safeguards against heart disease, stroke and diabetes.”
• Approach sleep like Goldilocks—Just right. In a recent study of 72,000 nurses published in the January Archives of Internal Medicine, researchers found that getting too little sleep—or too much—may raise the risk of developing heart disease. Women who averaged five hours or less of sleep a night were 39% more likely to develop heart disease than those that got eight hours. And nine or more hours of shuteye was associated with a 37% higher risk of heart disease.
Your best investment for the future is in your health today.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Marriage Counseling - How Is The Health Of Your Relationship?
The best relationships are friendships that catch fire. How well do you know your partner and their view of the world? Answer the following questions to find out.
1. I understand my partner’s philosophies about life.
Yes No
2. I consider my partner to be my very best friend.
Yes No
3. We often touch and kiss for no particular reason.
Yes No
4. I call my partner several times a day.
Yes No
5. I understand my partner’s dreams for the future.
Yes No
6. We find our sex life is fun and satisfying.
Yes No
7. We touch base everyday about how our day is going.
Yes No
8. If I have a problem, I talk with my partner.
Yes No
9. We have scheduled activities that we look forward to.
Yes No
10. We have similar values and goals.
Yes No
11. I think that my partner has high integrity.
Yes No
12. I can’t wait to get home at the end of the day.
Yes No
13. We have favorite traditions for many of the holidays.
Yes No
14. I feel that my partner respects me.
Yes No
15. We enjoy many of the same activities.
Yes No
16. My partner understands my family.
Yes No
17. My partner makes me laugh.
Yes No
How many “Yes” answers did you have?
15 or more: You have a strong relationship built on friendship.
9-14: You have a good base but additional work will enhance your relationship. This is a good time to utilize additional tools.
8 or fewer: Get busy or you and your partner risk drifting apart.
If you scored an 8 or below, check out my recommendation on how to save your marriage. I recommend the save my marriage course. It's like marriage counseling, but not as expensive.
1. I understand my partner’s philosophies about life.
Yes No
2. I consider my partner to be my very best friend.
Yes No
3. We often touch and kiss for no particular reason.
Yes No
4. I call my partner several times a day.
Yes No
5. I understand my partner’s dreams for the future.
Yes No
6. We find our sex life is fun and satisfying.
Yes No
7. We touch base everyday about how our day is going.
Yes No
8. If I have a problem, I talk with my partner.
Yes No
9. We have scheduled activities that we look forward to.
Yes No
10. We have similar values and goals.
Yes No
11. I think that my partner has high integrity.
Yes No
12. I can’t wait to get home at the end of the day.
Yes No
13. We have favorite traditions for many of the holidays.
Yes No
14. I feel that my partner respects me.
Yes No
15. We enjoy many of the same activities.
Yes No
16. My partner understands my family.
Yes No
17. My partner makes me laugh.
Yes No
How many “Yes” answers did you have?
15 or more: You have a strong relationship built on friendship.
9-14: You have a good base but additional work will enhance your relationship. This is a good time to utilize additional tools.
8 or fewer: Get busy or you and your partner risk drifting apart.
If you scored an 8 or below, check out my recommendation on how to save your marriage. I recommend the save my marriage course. It's like marriage counseling, but not as expensive.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Marriage Counseling - Are You A Workaholic?
Justin, a thirty-five year old executive at a high-pressure investment firm works 60-70 hours per week. Even on vacation, he often slips away from the rest of the family to go on-line, check messages and answer phone calls. Until recently, he saw nothing abnormal about his behavior; in fact, everyone at his job works like that.
In the United States, we value work. Americans labor longer hours than workers in any other industrialized nation. In fact, in Western Europe, Americans are viewed as a “nation of workaholics.”
According to a 1998 study by the Families and Work Institute in New York, the average American now works 44 hours of work per week, which represents an increase of 3.5 hours since 1977. This is far more than the workers in France (39 hours per week) and Germany (40). According to a new report from the United Nations International Labor Organization (ILO), “Workers in the United States are putting in more hours than anyone else in the industrialized world.”
The ILO statistics show that in 2000, the average American worked almost one
more week of work than the year before; working an average of 1,978 hours – up from 1,942 hours in 1990. Americans now work longer hours than Canadian, Japanese, or Australian workers.
What are we working for? It’s not vacations. The typical American worker has an average of two weeks of vacation as compared to four - six weeks for their European counterparts.
For happiness? According to regular surveys by the National Opinion Research Center of the University of Chicago, no more Americans report they are “very happy” now than in 1957, despite near doubling in personal consumption expenditures. Indeed, the world’s people have consumed as many goods and services since 1950 as all previous generations put together, yet report that they are not any happier.
There are many costs in working so hard. People tend to cut back on sleep and time with their families. A recent survey found that almost a third of people working more than 48 hours a week said that exhaustion was affecting married life. Nearly a third admitted that work-related tiredness was causing their sex life to suffer, and 14% reported a loss of or reduced sex drive. They also complained that long hours and overwork led to arguments and tensions at home. Two out of five people working more than 48 hours a week blamed long hours for disagreements and said they felt guilty at not pulling their weight with domestic chores.
So how do you know if your job has turned into workaholic habits? Here are some of the warning signs:
*Your home is organized just like another office.
*Colleagues describe you as hard working, needing to win, and overly committed.
*You keep “technology tethers” like cell phones, pagers and laptops with you all times, even on vacations.
*Friends either don’t call anymore, or you quickly get off the phone when they do call.
*Sleep seems like a waste of time.
*Work problems circle in your mind, even during time off.
*Work makes you happier than any other aspect of your life.
*People who love you complain about the hours you work and beg you to take some time off.
If you experience some of these warning signs on a regular basis, it may be time to
re-evaluate how you are handling work in your life. A healthy marriage takes time and commitment. Don't be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
~~~~~
For my recommendation on how to save your marriage, I recommend the save my marriage course. It's like marriage counseling, but not as expensive.
In the United States, we value work. Americans labor longer hours than workers in any other industrialized nation. In fact, in Western Europe, Americans are viewed as a “nation of workaholics.”
According to a 1998 study by the Families and Work Institute in New York, the average American now works 44 hours of work per week, which represents an increase of 3.5 hours since 1977. This is far more than the workers in France (39 hours per week) and Germany (40). According to a new report from the United Nations International Labor Organization (ILO), “Workers in the United States are putting in more hours than anyone else in the industrialized world.”
The ILO statistics show that in 2000, the average American worked almost one
more week of work than the year before; working an average of 1,978 hours – up from 1,942 hours in 1990. Americans now work longer hours than Canadian, Japanese, or Australian workers.
What are we working for? It’s not vacations. The typical American worker has an average of two weeks of vacation as compared to four - six weeks for their European counterparts.
For happiness? According to regular surveys by the National Opinion Research Center of the University of Chicago, no more Americans report they are “very happy” now than in 1957, despite near doubling in personal consumption expenditures. Indeed, the world’s people have consumed as many goods and services since 1950 as all previous generations put together, yet report that they are not any happier.
There are many costs in working so hard. People tend to cut back on sleep and time with their families. A recent survey found that almost a third of people working more than 48 hours a week said that exhaustion was affecting married life. Nearly a third admitted that work-related tiredness was causing their sex life to suffer, and 14% reported a loss of or reduced sex drive. They also complained that long hours and overwork led to arguments and tensions at home. Two out of five people working more than 48 hours a week blamed long hours for disagreements and said they felt guilty at not pulling their weight with domestic chores.
So how do you know if your job has turned into workaholic habits? Here are some of the warning signs:
*Your home is organized just like another office.
*Colleagues describe you as hard working, needing to win, and overly committed.
*You keep “technology tethers” like cell phones, pagers and laptops with you all times, even on vacations.
*Friends either don’t call anymore, or you quickly get off the phone when they do call.
*Sleep seems like a waste of time.
*Work problems circle in your mind, even during time off.
*Work makes you happier than any other aspect of your life.
*People who love you complain about the hours you work and beg you to take some time off.
If you experience some of these warning signs on a regular basis, it may be time to
re-evaluate how you are handling work in your life. A healthy marriage takes time and commitment. Don't be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
~~~~~
For my recommendation on how to save your marriage, I recommend the save my marriage course. It's like marriage counseling, but not as expensive.
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